What men are really thinking

Whitney Casey Relationship expert, TV host, newspaper columnist, and former CNN journalist Whitney Casey interviewed 200 men and 150 leading experts to find out what men are looking for. In her book The Man Plan, Whitney delves into the major relationship deal-breakers for men. She spices up the book with real-life dating disasters. It’s an eye-opener. If you have ever been mystified by the opposite sex, don’t miss a word of our interview with Whitney Casey.

DD: Why did you write The Man Plan?
I was writing a weekly newspaper column and doing a live talk-show in Texas. I started getting a lot of email like this: "It is great to hear from other women. But, I don’t care what other women think about what I should do about men, I care what men think!!" Hence, the genesis of The Man Plan. After doing a lot more research, I found most women cared more about what men thought of their hair, shoes, scent,
job, salary, friends etc. than I ever expected them to!

DD: How many men did you talk you and what were their ages?
WC: 250 men, ages 20-50 from St. Louis to Soho.

DD: Do you think age makes a difference in what men look for in women?
WC: The only age men care about is your age, not theirs! The way men seek out women, flirt with them and ultimately decide on who they like and don’t like is the only thing "ageless" about them. They use the same techniques no matter what age they are.
DD: I was shocked that most men even notice a woman’s handbag and her shoes. Yes. But her bag? Can you explain how the wrong bag can turn a man off?
With the popularization of trendy hobo-style big bags, how can a man not notice your bag when it practically looks like you can jump into it and hide out in it for a few days. Men want you to look effortless and unencumbered. How can you look lady like when you look bag-lady-like? If your bag is bigger than the space between your wrist and your elbow it is no longer a bag; it is luggage. No man wants a woman with luggage or baggage.

The Man PlanDD: You book is wonderfully candid. Did men really tell you they went off a woman because she went to the bathroom on a date at the wrong time, or for too long? I can see why thinking about anyone in the bathroom for too long could be a romantic turn-off , but I find it strange that people couldn’t manage this for the duration of a date unless they were actually ill. What’s up with this?
WC: Too many trips to the toilet can mean only a few things to a man and none of them are good: You are a coke head; you have massive diarrhea; you are texting another man; you have a slew of kids at home you have to check in with. If you come down with something because you ate something bad, stay home. Going "number-two" can mean only one thing for a man, you are moving to number 100 on his list of datable woman.

DD: Men my age absolutely want a good meal. It makes them melt, isthis true of all men?
WC: The only time men will turn down a meal is when it is served with a side order of "commitment" talk! Men eat and then think. Actually men eat, have sex, and then think. Often sleep trumps thinking. To a man, a good home-cooked meal means you are capable of being both the sexual being you are while still being that nurturing "nanny or nurse" that will make sure he will be healthy and well enough to eat, sleep, have sex and sometimes think a little.

DD: According to your research, the old saying ‘opposites attract’ isn’t necessarily true, nor a good idea. Why?
WC: Opposites don’t attract. For men attractiveness attracts! Men see shiny things. They want shiny things. They smell something yummy. They want to eat something yummy. You will never attract a man by being the opposite of what he desires. But the good news is that most men desire the same things when it comes to women. The desirability quotient is an easy thing to empirically manipulate. A few tweaks with your scent, your wardrobe, your grooming habits and hair (everywhere) can turn the tables in your favor so quickly it will make your head spin and his head turn!

DD: After all the research you have done, do think it is far to say that looks, or at least a great package – clothes and grooming – is the key to attracting a great man?
WC: Men are sensory-loaded, sexually-loaded, and then emotionally-loaded. For example, it is rare you meet a man who says:” Well, at first I wasn’t attracted to her, but after she told me about how she is so sweet to her father and brother and how she takes care of her dog. I became attracted to her." No, that’s for women who are emotionally-loaded from the get-go and can easily "warm-up" to a man on an attraction based on how he treats his mom, sister or dog! Men are sensory-loaded: They see, smell, touch, and then take.  So pay attention to the attention-getters in The Man Plan. They are sure to be your key to getting him, and then you’ll get to decide if he’s worth wanting on your end!