In the moment!

We love a smart phone to, but to attract love or make a good impression --put down the gadget!Glamour magazine recently asked a hundred men what would turn them off on a first date. The answer may surprise you. Overwhelming, the biggest turn-off was a woman who repeatedly checked her phone for texts and messages.  

I have heard all the excuses that people make about the pressure of work today and needing to be in touch all the time. I don’t buy it.
 
A lot of the time people spend on their gadgets is recreational or “desperational.” They endlessly update their facebook page, look at status updates of “friends,” and text and trawl as they look for the next “big thing.” These people are so insecure, hungry, and desperate that they can’t look away from their phones for fear of missing “the” text that will change their lives.
 
This is not an age issue either. One of my friends was afraid to object when   girlfriends texted during dinners together; she thought she would look “old” if she complained. Nonsense! I have popular socially-connected friends in their 20s who can put down their phones to enjoy a meal, performance, or a conversation. I also know socially maladjusted people of all ages who just can’t seem to stay in the moment as they click and tap through any engagement.
 
For those who are looking for love and waiting for Mr. Right, being text-dependant could even be the kiss of death. If a man they are interested in texts them, are they going to answer him right away? Do they really want to be that available?
 
Let’s face it, texting is one of the worst things to happen to the dating game. And, the older you are the deadlier it can be. Ask any relationship expert — male or female — and they will tell you the same thing. If a man is really interested in you, he’ll call you and he will ask you out. Men may be shy, lazy, or unsophisticated, but if they meet a woman they want, they usually find a way to ask her out. Don’t let your well-meaning friends tell you differently. But, sitting by your phone or texting endlessly is not the way to get a man to fall for you.
 
Darlings, be in the moment! Connect with people. Really listen when they talk; you might learn something — or even have a good time. Don’t be guilty of looking over anyone’s shoulders, or gazing down at your phone for messages while you are chatting. People notice you are distracted. I do and it bores me. I avoid hustlers. I can spot anyone who only wants to connect for what I can do for them. I avoid them like the plague. I know my friends feel the same way. Networking with the like-minded can be fabulous, but learn to enjoy conversation for its own sake, or your life will be very limited.
 
Get interested in things. Read, see films, follow politics, or get a hobby. Get off the phone and offline. Get out and do something. Interested people are interesting.
 
Do you want to meet someone new and maybe fall in love? Let’s assume you already look fabulous, but are still having trouble connecting. Ask yourself:
 
When was the last time you learned something new – for fun? Do you challenge yourself? Do you try new things and get out your own routine? If not, you may need a change.
 
When you dine with friends, do you keep your phone at hand so you can scan for non-essential texts and messages? Well, darlings, I have already told you what a major turn-off that is to everyone.
 
Ask yourself, are you attracted the guy who is always looking over your shoulder or the one who really focuses and pays attention. What is more compelling? A confident man surrounded by friends and colleagues, or a guy who is in the moment.
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