Show some skin

 Darlings, summer is the time to show some skin. I don’t mean to go to the office dressed for the beach, but this is time to feel the sun on your skin and strut your stuff. So spray on your sunblock, slide into a fab summer frock or pretty top, and let that summer weather work its magic. 
 
Everyone is talking about the book 50 Shades of Grey these days. Some call it ‘mommy porn.’ But all the women I talk to who have read it – ages 20 and up – agree that the romance in the story is the real turn-on. No one wants the whips and chains in 50 Shades of Grey.
 
So darlings, get out flounce about and generate some desire.  It helps to make life sweet.
 
Until next week, please sign-up if you haven’t already; email your info to domore@dolcedolce.comDolceDolceis free. And please forward us to all your friends. And please give us your comments by emailing us at the same address. We want to know what you think. Please LIKE us on FACEBOOK http://www.facebook.com/pages/dolcedolcecom/215363998481866 Look for our logo! Let’s start the conversation!
 
Gracey Hitchcock
Editor
Photo by: www.yanka.ca
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Sexting is not sexy

Sexting killed Hope Witsell

It’s no wonder Hope Witsell cracked.  The 13-year-old Florida girl recently killed herself after she was bullied at school – the result of a sexting adventure gone terribly wrong. Hope had sent a topless photo of herself to a boy on his mobile phone, but little did she realize that someone else was using it. In no time, the picture was forwarded to the whole school. The result was devastating: schoolmates taunted Hope as a “slut;" she was suspended from school; her mother grounded her.

 
Sexting – the emailing of sexually-explicit messages, photos, and videos – has become a widespread and disturbing social activity. A recent poll by MTV and The Associated Press reports that almost one-third of young people surveyed admitted they’d done it. And 61 percent of those who had engaged in sexting said they had been pressured to do so.
 
The poll surveyed 1,247 youths between ages 14 and 24. About half of them reported they had been the victim of some form of abuse through digital media. The most common complaint was being the focus of a smear campaign. About 22 percent of respondents indicated they’d been the target of lies. About eight percent said they’d been threatened with some form of digital blackmail.
 
A panel of teenaged girls discussing sexting on the popular talk show Tyra, admitted they had been pressurized by boys to ‘sext’. They told the host, former super model Tyra Banks, that other more attractive and popular girls did not have to send naked pictures of themselves to boys to get attention or dates.
 
How sad and how predicable. This type of thing happened when I was in high school. Women who lack confidence give off signals that attract the type of guys your father warned you about.
 
We all remember the girls who were deemed easy, and the nasty talk that followed them. The word ‘slut’ is not new; the ‘bathroom wall’ has gone digital and gotten deadly. Now sexual slurs are not easily washed way. Social stigmas and naked digital pictures can follow a young woman — or man in some cases – to university, and from town to town.
 
Drew Gerber, CEO of www.pitchrate.com and a dot-com veteran, told me the life of anything posted on the net via Facebook or any other social networking site is potentially forever. He advises everyone to clean up their Internet profile, especially their Facebook pages. He always googles job applicants. If he sees anything questionable on their Facebook pages or elsewhere, they can forget it. He is sure most employers do the same, and thinks most top schools do it too.
 
And don’t count on privacy settings. If it is out there, according to Drew, it will get out. Drew also says cell phone messages can be intercepted. He pointed out sending anything private over a cell phone is unwise because you never know who has the phone. That is what happened to poor Hope Witsell.
 
It is frightening how many young people still don’t grasp the implications of this risky risqué behavior. But, it not surprising. Our celebrity culture doesn’t help. Who had heard of Paris Hilton or Kim Kardasian before their sex tapes hit the net.
 
Dr. Jill MurrayDr. Jill Murray is an expert on abusive relationships and the author of But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women. She told me “the media environment today is sexually toxic. Girls today want so much attention. Many can’t differentiate between any attention and good attention. To them any attention is good attention. I think it is largely because of these female celebrity reality shows They watch these women with their sex tapes and they think this is what will get me this lifestyle, with all the designer clothes and shoes.
 
What young desperate women don’t get is that they don’t have the family connections to get ahead from their sexploitation. All they will get is used and abused, like the girls before them who got passed around, talked about and written up on the bathroom wall.
 
Dr. Jill reminded me that sending nude pictures to minors is illegal – even between two minors. And while most young girls are devastated if their private nude pictures become public, she says that many of them are stupid at that age. They believe a 15-year-old guy will actually keep a nude picture to himself. Dr. Jill went on to say, “Some of these girls are not upset when the pictures get out. They are happy. After watching these racy reality shows they think this how they will get their 15 minutes of fame.”
 
Men, even young ones, are hard-wired not to value what they can have too easily. And high school is often a harsh place especially for anyone lacking confidence and judgment.
 
Darlings, some mature couples may consider sexting a fun playful activity. It is not anything I would go in for or recommend. 
 
Please always place high value on you. Extend the same respect to others. Be confident of your own worth. If you lack confidence, surround yourself with those who value you. No one values anything that comes too easily – in life or love.
 
And remember Hope Witsell.
 
 
 
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