Go with what you got

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Recently I was speaking to a friend who was too discouraged to go to her high school reunion. She wasn’t happy with her weight or her life. I shared with her one of most important beauty I had learned long ago. And it is simply, “Go with what you got” or in other words make the most of what you have. As it turned out this “beauty lesson” was one of best life lessons I could have learned. For me it meant not worrying about not being tall or anything else that couldn’t be changed and focusing on what did work for me. It was easy to transfer that idea to other areas of life. When you stop longing for what will never be or worse has never really been – you make room for a host of wonderful possibilities.

 

I was lucky to have learned this early in life but it is never too late to learn to be open to new ideas, possibilities, and to always go with what you got.

 

Make time for the things you enjoy and the people you love because, my darlings that is truly where the sweet life lies.

 

DolceDolce is free. Please forward us to all your friends. And please follow us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/dolcedolcec#om/215363998481866 . We post new items and tips weekly, except during our posted hiatuses several times a year. Please send us your comments by emailing us at the same address, or sharing in Facebook. We will respond! We want to know what you think. Let’s start the conversation!

 

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Gracey Hitchcock

Editor, DolceDolce

Follow me @graceysays

All contents copyright © 2014

 

 

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Splurges!

Click on the top line of titles to open each item!  12graceysmallAnd now that we have spent an issue on our favourite beauty bargains I want to take a minute to sing the praises of a beauty splurge or two. There are not some pricy items that you will can never duplicate –nor would you want to as they would lose their magic. For me it is fragrance and foundation.  I love Chanel and Guerlain’s Shalimar and Jicky. I have a few other French scents I swoon over and pricy essential oils that are sold in tiny vials. When it comes to foundation and BB creams I don’t want to see it on my face and invisibility is costly. I used to think some of my favourite face creams were pricy at several hundred dollars a jar –but now days there are so many creams that cost much more. But the point is every beauty lover has her thing – a must-have mascara, gloss, or potion.  So darlings embrace the splurges and love bargains –they all make you feel fabulous.

Make time for the things you enjoy and the people you love because, my darlings, that is truly where the sweet life lies. DolceDolce is free. And please forward us to all your friends. And please follow us on Facebook at  http://www.facebook.com/pages/dolcedolcec#om/215363998481866. We post new items and tips weekly, except during our annual poShalimarsted hiatuses.  Please give us your comments by emailing us at the same address or sharing in Facebook – we will respond! We want to know what you think. Let’s start the conversation!

I am now operating Luxury of Pearls from out Facebook page. Feel free to message me for any of your gift needs!  https://www.facebook.com/LuxuryofPearls  We can mail beautiful pearls wrapped with a card to anyone on your list.

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Until next time, have a sweet week and please follow us on Facebook

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We would love to hear from all off you. Tell us what you think.

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Gracey Hitchcock

Editor, DolceDolce

Follow me @graceysays on Twitter

https://www.facebook.com/LuxuryofPearls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m06G40AHvvA

All contents copyright © 2014

 

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Are you afraid to feel beautiful?

Too many women never enjoy their own beauty. They can’t see their good points, but instead laser-in on the negatives. They are convinced that beauty and glamour are for other women but not for them. Celebrity hair stylist Ken Paves thinks his industry is part of the problem. “Millions of women don’t always feel good about themselves due to the beauty industry’s narrow definition of how they should look,” he says.
 
This may seem strange coming from one of Hollywood’s hottest hair stylists, but Paves appreciates all types of beauty. In his book, You are Beautiful, he attempts to convince women to believe in their own beauty. He shows women how to make the most of their looks even if they don’t look like a model or Hollywood starlet.
 
The book is part memoir and part beauty manual. In it, Paves shares his personal journey from a working-class Detroit boy to a celebrity hair stylist. He recounts his early beginning as a poor, young assistant and how he made ends meet by cleaning the salon on weekends. It becomes clear that his close relationship with his family, and especially his mother, shaped how Paves relates to women. The book also includes anecdotes about working with stars, including Oprah, Victoria
Beckham, and Eva Longoria.
 
Most importantly, Paves is full of practical advice on how to make the most of your own looks. Using friends and family members as examples, he demonstrates makeup, clothing, and – of course – hair makeover tips for women of all ages, body types, and ethnicities. He even shows you how to cut your own bangs. You are Beautiful makes beauty accessible for the average woman.
 
If you have never felt beautiful but always longed to, or if you want to up your beauty game but don’t know how, this book may be the help you need.
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Dare!

Gracey Hitchcock Angkor WatOver my years as a beauty editor many women have confided that they would love to be more glamorous or chic but they don’t dare. They fear they would look foolish or less professional. It’s sad. While no woman should feel obliged to look like a starlet or model, fear should never hold anyone back from indulging in their feminine side. So darlings, go ahead and dare to be anyone you want to be.
 
Until next week, please sign-up if you haven’t already by emailing your info to domore@dolcedolce.com . DolceDolceis free. And please forward us to all your friends. And please follow us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/dolcedolcecom/215363998481866 We post new items and tips almost daily. And please give us your comments by emailing us at the same address or sharing in Facebook –we will respond! We want to know what you think. Let’s start the conversation!
 
And please drop by my site www.luxuryofpearls.com for the most stunning pearls at drop dead prices. I have used all my editor shopping savvy to bring you the same fabulous pearls I wear at amazing prices. And yes, the pearls are all real. We already back ordered on several styles!
Gracey Hitchcock
 
 
 
 
Gracey Hitchcock
Editor
Photo by: www.yanka.ca
© DolceDolce® 2013
All DolceDolce content is copyright
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Love is not a size!

Size 12 And Ready to Rock by Meg Cabot will delight fans of amateur detective Heather Wells. Heather is former child pop star; who is now broke thanks to her greedy parents who mismanaged her career. Heather is also a bit overweight, due to her bouts of emotional eating and genetics. Retired from show biz Heather now works as residence hall manager at New York College. She is the assistant manager of a hall nicknamed the “Death Dorm” for a grisly murder that happened there last semester.
 
The last thing Heather needs is another murder in the death dorm or any excitement during the summer. She plans to catch up on her studies as she tries to finish her degree in criminology. She is also reluctantly trying on wedding gowns in her spare time, now that she is engaged to her handsome private detective boyfriend, Cooper. The dorm is supposed to be closed for renovations for the summer. But, when the party-boy son of college president gets involved with the producer of a rock reality show, before Heather know it, her dorm is the set of a reality show and she is in the middle of another murder.
 
Heather Well is the embodiment of the insecurities that many women experience about their appearance. She is bright, funny, and has a fiancé who loves her, but she often feels awkward and at disadvantage because she is not a size zero. Cabot cleverly entwines a fast-paced mystery with self-esteem building scenarios and epiphanies.
 
Size 12 And Ready to Rock is funny, feel-good mystery.
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Feel fabulous at any age or size –An action plan!

Emme and Gracey Hitchcock “A woman can’t always look younger, but she can always look elegant.” This wonderful quote is from an elegant woman named Joyce Carati. She happens to be 79 years old and looks fabulous. She’s featured in the blog Advanced Style about stylish older women that Ruth Cohen and her grandson Ari started.  

Ruth is 100 years old. She does Pilates and looks fit and fashionable. I love her beauty advice, which Elizabeth Arden inspired: “Take care of your skin. Make sure and moisturize … If you want to look like this when you are 40, start when you are 20."
 
The same week that Advanced Style came on my radar, I attended a lunch with Emme, the first plus-sized super model, at the home of environmental activist Laura Turner Seydel. Emme is back on the fashion and beauty scene after recovering from cancer. She has launched her own blog and online forum as a spokesperson for “self-acceptance.” The diverse group of women in the audience related to her message of accepting your size and reveling in your own unique beauty.
 
As I looked around the room, it hit me: women need more than cheerleaders and platitudes to feel good about themselves. They need an action plan!
 
Getting the most out of life takes work. If you slump and shuffle through life in an endless parade of shapeless garments, chances are you will never feel fabulous.
 
However, if you embrace style and fitness, and decide to cultivate beauty, you can be fabulous at any age or size. Darlings, if you doubt me just look around. You will find plenty of women who prove my point.
 
So, if you are feeling less than fabulous because you think you are too fat, thin, or old, here is an action plan to get to fabulous:
 
Get moving
Vigorous exercise three to five times a week can improve any body type. Join a class, or get a trainer or a workout buddy. Do not try to go it alone; you need to be accountable to someone. Get moving. It will elevate your mood too.
 
I love classes or personal training gyms. I go to barre classes five times a week. It’s addictive. For the record, I am not in the least athletic or sports-minded, but I am fit. Ruth Cohen has been doing Pilates for 20 years, since she was 80!
 
Find a stylish friend or mentor
If you feel like a schlub, you are probably dressing wrong. There are fabulous clothes these days for all sizes, styles, and budgets. Not everyone one is born with style, but you can “borrow“ it until you develop it. Buy fashion magazines. Look for ones that have clothes for your body type. Marie Claire and Glamour have excellent plus-sized columns.
 
The Internet has good style blogs for all body types. Find one you like and study it. Find a good sales person. Many sales people are frustrated stylists who love to dress people. Do not shop in a hostile environment, ever. If a store makes you feel badly about yourself, leave!
 
If you can afford it, shop where they offer personal shopping, but interview for someone you really like. You know you have found the right person when you feel fabulous in your clothes.
 
Get a good haircut and colour if you need it
Ask friends with have great hair whom they use. Go for a consultation. Again, don’t settle for “good enough”. Never let someone you don’t like do your hair just because they have a great reputation. You need to feel good at your salon.
 
You deserve great hair, so keep looking. It took me — a professional beauty editor – three years to find the right salon in Atlanta. The right haircut and colour can take years off your face. A bad cut and colour can make you look worn and tired at 25.
 
Eat well and sleep
Darlings, I am not going give you another diet. There are scores of good ones. If you’re eating and your issues are emotional, get help with what’s really bothering you. If you need a diet, try one until you a get fit. We publish good food and diet info weekly.
 
Sleep seven to eight hours a night. If you sleep much more you may be sick or depressed, so see a doctor now! If you sleep less, it will age you and it may even make you fatter. Turn off, unplug, and relax.
 
Enjoy the process
Learn to enjoy fashion. Experiment with clothes and makeup. After all, darlings, you are your own work of art. Make time to try a new lip-gloss and budget for a new pair of boots. Try out new makeup trends with a mini makeover at the counter of your favourite brand. Make an appointment. Take a friend so you won’t be tempted to buy more than you really want.
 
Tune out negativity
Surround yourself with secure, life-enhancing people. Recently, a gorgeous friend told me she got upset when a woman she knows asked her pointedly why she was wearing white after Labour Day. My friend — a slim, stylish blonde — was wearing cream cords; she looked fabulous. Winter white also happens to be a very hot trend now. I suspect my friend’s good looks threatened the "fashion critic”, who then tried to shake her confidence.  That is exactly what I told my cute friend. I also told her to she might want avoid catty women.
 
Often people succeed because they have a talent for tuning out negativity. Darlings, sadly the world is full of unhappy, envious people who will — if you let them — pick you apart to give themselves a boost. Avoid them. They are soul destroying.
 
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Are you enough?

Skydiving builds confidence, but so does dancing and tennis.One of my recent columns kicked off some emotional discussions among women I know about the scourge of bullying.

 
I singled out people who denigrated the actress Demi Moore for showing off her gorgeous body. What was so surprising and sad was that many women my age still have raw feelings about things that were said or done to them as teens. It is also alarming that the problem has gotten worse. We have all heard about the father who lost it upon hearing that his handicapped daughter was bullied daily on the school bus. Then there was the tragic case of Phoebe Prince, the young Irish girl who was hounded by her classmates until she killed herself in a fit of depression. 
 
I started to wonder why some things cut so deeply. It seems to me that we women constantly ask ourselves “are we enough?” So, when people make us feel not beautiful, popular, slim, smart, or sexy enough, we can be crushed. Alas my darlings, most parents are lousy at preparing any of us to deal with the harsh reality of the popularity sweepstakes.
 
Malcolm Gladwell makes the point in his book The Tipping Point that sooner than anyone’s parents would like to believe, peer groups become the ultimate influence on all of us. He cites the book The Nurturer Assumption by Judith Rich Harris which says that the personalities of children are shaped by their peers.
 
What I have noticed is that the children who have the best social skills are those who coast through life. And there is the rub. How do we teach children to be dans sa peau, or to feel good in their skin? Social skills are subtle and not easy to teach. Sensitive teachers and camp counselors can help, but bad ones can damn an awkward child to social hell.
 
If you listen to beauty experts or any of the world’s great “dames”, they always say the true secret to making it in this world is confidence. I know they are right. Getting though this life relatively “unscarred” is about having the stuff to stand up to bullies, and maybe even being able to stop bullies in their tracks. But where does this elusive confidence come from?  
 
I have noticed that many ‘experts’ are silent on the subject. Most of my life I have been called a confident woman. I didn’t — and still don’t always — feel that way. But, I did realize early on, that “fake it till you make it” was good advice. You can never make others like you, but you can work on the skills that can make you feel better about yourself. That does give you confidence.
 
It may be superficial, but wearing the right clothes can help you blend into the crowd. These days it’s easier, as trends are quickly available at all price points. If you’re fashion individual, go for it. But most people with shaky confidence feel better blending in.
 
If only more parents would stop trying to tell their kids that people teased them because they are jealous. It does not help, and often it is not true. It would be better to figure out why their kids are getting teased. I suggest moving their children to a more accepting and nurturing atmosphere. Bright children do better in environments that reward their intelligence. A nerd or outcast in one school can do just fine in elsewhere. Why let a person develop a bad self image? Obviously this matters, as so many are scarred for a lifetime. It’s sad and often unnecessary.
 
We have to stop bullying, but I think it is just as important to teach women how to be strong, vital, and confident as young girls. Mean girls often grow up to mean women. Studies show a high incidence of bullying in the workplace is done by women bosses. An old high school friend had a terrible experience with a mean girl boss who tried to wreak her confidence. She put her down constantly and gratuitously. Once she even compared her academically to her (the boss’s) young son. Another younger friend had the ultimate boss from hell — the meanest mean girl. She would torture my friend with personal insults and an excessive workload. She liked to hit her with surprise projects as my friend was on the way out the door at 7 or 8 at night. Then she would want to be girlfriends and go out for drinks. My advice to both of them: get out as soon as you can. Maintain your self confidence through talking with friends who love you and doing things you are good at, but call everyone you know as you look for a new job!
 
Getting out of a bad situation is not being a quitter. I was brought up never to quit. And the thinking used to be that you had to learn to get along with all types of people. I still think it’s important to learn how to go along to get along. Sports, clubs, and other enjoyable activities are great for that. But I have also learned that certain people are dangerous and mean. They don’t play by the same rules as the rest if us. The smartest thing to do is to get away from them. The best thing my father ever did for me was get me out of gym class. I hated it. I am far from lazy, but I hate sports. I loathe getting sweaty and wet in the middle of the day. I took ice skating, dance, swimming, and host of other lessons to keep active. I walked hours as a teenager. By removing me from what I considered a “hostile atmosphere” my father kept me from feeling helpless and developing a complex. Thanks to my father, I have never hesitated to say thanks but no thanks to any situation that made me uncomfortable — from dating to work. My father was really good at letting me know there was difference between sticking for yourself and being a pain in the butt. My mentors finished my social education by explaining that life was not fair and there would always be mean girls. The trick was never to play their game. They explained I had to learn to stand up for myself without becoming mean or whiny. I was not happy to hear this , but they were right.
 
No one is immune to criticism or slights. Recently Kathy Lee Gifford on The Today Show recounted how Victoria Principal, the actress and beauty expert, made a remark about Kathy Lee’s figure while they were at some function. “You have a beautiful body Kathy Lee, but…” She went on to ask if Kathy Lee had “problem with dairy”. Perhaps Victoria Principal meant to be helpful. Perhaps she was being catty. But she was definitely on thin ice. No one wants to hear about their alleged physical shortcomings when they attend an event.
 
I can’t count the women over the years who have said rude things to me in public. I still remember with clarity the lovely women who tell would tell me that the acne I had so carefully covered with makeup was caused by the make-up itself, or by something I had (not) eaten. Some were trying to be helpful, some were not. All the remarks were inappropriate and hurtful, as none of their “advice” was solicited or private. By 16, I had a fabulous doctor and clear skin. Now I smile when women tell me I have beautiful skin. I do, but I worked for it. And as soon as my skin cleared up, mean girls found other things to pick on. 
 
The number of indignant and hurt friends who have told me what other women dared say about their weight, clothes, makeup, hair, children, work or personalities would fill a tome. Some have been truly shaken when the remark has come from a close friend or family member. Thanks to dear older friends, I learned many years ago to let most hurtful remarks roll off me. I stay far away from those who make them. It sounds glib, but you have to get over it!
 
Darlings, confidence is a gift you give yourself. Parents can help, but the best person to nurture you — is you. If you have scars, heal them. I’ll tell you a secret: happy people attract good things and feel more confident. Forgive and forget is the worse advice ever. Forgive maybe. Let whatever hurt you go. But never forget. Stay far away from toxic people. They seldom change their hurtful ways. 
 
Find your talents and develop them. Excellence builds confidence. Glory in your beauty, darlings. Believe me, you are beautiful. Find the experts who can help you shine. Nurture yourself. Surround yourself with love. Shine your light for others. You are enough!
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You!

Too many of us have reams of reasons as to why we cannot find time to take care of ourselves. Stop it, because my darlings you are the only ones who can. You can choose to eat food will make you feel and look fabulous. You can find time to walk a bit, to do some yoga or Pilates, and to create a vision of yourself. But you need to do it; no one can do it for you! Darlings, life should be sweet, take the time to make it that way.

 
Until next week, please sign-up if you haven’t already or email your info to domore@dolcedolce.com and I’ll do it for you! DolceDolceis free. And please forward us to all your friends. And please give us your comments by emailing us at the same address. We want to know what you think. Let’s start the conversation!
NB: A fabulous free fitness event on Tybee Island Tybee Throws A Fit! September 4th! I adore Tybee.  Go of you are in the area, lots of fun, fitness and celebrity trainers!
 
 
 
 
 
Gracey Hitchcock
Editor
Photo by: www.yanka.ca
 
© DolceDolce® 2010
All DolceDolce content is copyright

 

 

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