Save something

Ramona Singer, Real Housewife of New York, admits she is sometimes guilty of blurting “too much information”!How many of us now automatically “Google” anything or anyone new? These days your profile in Facebook may the first thing anyone learns about you. And first impressions last. Like it or not darlings, your Facebook page, in many ways, is your calling card to the world.  

Recently, I attended a luncheon for young women in the foster care system. The speaker, Stephanie Hunt from Swan Noir, a finishing school in New York, cautioned the girls about the dangers of Facebook and Twitter. She reminded them that, like it or not, your profile in Facebook and any information that it contains may be viewed by employers, future employers, and clients.
 
She advised the girls to “save something.” I love that old fashion maxim. I think of it as having mystique and common sense. It’s worth thinking about.
 
Facebook is just one example to be aware of when it comes to over-sharing. Why not do as Ms. Hunt suggests and keep a lock in your FB privacy settings. That way you can save your “party pictures” for close friends. Make sure your friends are on the same page when it comes to posting pictures of you.  
 
Ask yourself if you really want the world viewing your bikini beach photos or New Year’s Eve snaps. When it comes to Facebook, maybe it is time to define the word ‘friend’ a little more carefully before granting access to your private life.
 
Over-sharing doesn’t stop at Facebook. I am constantly shocked by the private information people drop into the most casual conversations.
 
Recently, Ramona Singer of The Real Housewives of New York felt compelled to talk about her period when Andy Cohen asked her if she had really thought she could be pregnant. This was after she had taken a pregnancy test on the show.
 
Ramona is fabulous looking over-50 woman who works hard to stay that way. That might explain why she told," I am having my period right now." She went on for several awkward moments about her young “genes.” A simple “yes, I did think I could have been pregnant” would have done.
 
But Ramona’s period talk is nothing compared to some of the “confessions” I have heard at dinner parties. Between the soup and nuts, I heard women talk about their abortions, divorces, lovers, and surgeries, as well as “very personal” subjects.  People may listen politely, but darlings they are either cringing or bored to death by the tell-all confession.
 
I am not suggesting anyone should be ashamed about any of these things, but why the over-sharing? None of these topics is casual dinner conversation.
 
I often wonder if over-sharing isn’t a desperate bid for attention. I have noticed that women who drop these bombshells like to stop the conversation and grab the floor. Do they ever wonder about being known mostly for their confessions rather than their accomplishments? I wonder. 
 
Some men over-share too, but they are more likely to brag about business, money, or conquests. Its equally distasteful, but less damaging if they can back it up and stay away from graphic sex talk. Women are often compelled to babble about the type of intimate details that make others uncomfortable.
 
Men often drop women who on the first date who feel compelled to share their deepest secrets. On Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker you can watch this happen over and over as successful men and women flee from those who tell all. One attractive young woman felt the need to talk about her past eating disorder within the first five minutes of a “mini-date.” Is it any wonder that relationship fizzled.
 
A friend of mine recently dated a new guy. She felt some chemistry and they had a lot in common. But a red flag went up when talk about his ambitions turned into bonuses and dollar amounts. It was too much information too soon. I had to ask, what message was he trying to send her?
 
Darlings, most interesting people have an element of mystery. It takes time to get to know them. It can be hard to believe in the allure of mystery, that when the Kardashians are making millions by exposing every detail of their lives for the camera. But you will notice that Kim, the star of the group is the most elusive. She edits her exposure. It’s no accident she is star. She is pretty package that people want to unwrap.
 
That, my darlings, is the key. Learn to be the package that people want to unwrap, Think before you speak. Learn the difference between fascinating and scandalous. Screen legend and sex symbol Sofia Loren said “sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.” She knew the power of mystique.
 
Remember darlings, when in doubt – save something.
 
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