None of my business

images (3)Click on top title to open “When you’re famous you run into human nature in a raw kind of way,” Marilyn Monroe once said. “It stirs up envy, fame does. People you run into feel that, well, who is she who does she think she is, Marilyn Monroe? They feel fame gives them some kind of privilege to walk up to you and say anything to you, you know, of any kind of nature and it won’t hurt your feelings. Like it’s happening to your clothing.” I wonder what MM would have made of today’s brash world where it seems nothing is considered too rude to say to, or about, another person.I shudder when I think about comments made on Twitter about Kim Novak during the recent Oscars broadcast.  The sheer meanness of it all is disheartening. Goldie Hawn and Ellen Barkin are constantly targeted in the press and on the Internet. Many people think they look beautiful and so do I. But others want to dwell on how they maintain their looks and insist that they have “ruined” themselves with plastic surgery. I think the comments smack of jealously and hypocrisy in a world where beauty, youth, and celebrity are lauded. 

Even beauty magazines seem confused.  A recent issue of Allure featured a cautionary article about women who have “ruined their looks by overdoing Botox and fillers,” but it is followed by several articles on the latest anti-aging techniques offered by plastic surgeons and dermatologists.  

In the anti-injection article the author relates the “aha!” moment she had a rude woman on a New York subway told to get her “F*****ing plastic surgery face out of my face.” The woman yelled this at her when she asked the woman to stop swearing and using abusive gay slurs. I question why and whether any sane person would take to heart the words of bigoted harridan.


Marilyn was on to something. Women indulge in this type of behavior all the time. I am not famous but I have been picked apart and had audacious things said to me. I have a friend who constantly comments on my shoes. I wear very feminine, high heels all the time.  I like them and feel comfortable in them. I never wear shoes that hurt. I can walk miles in my heels. My shoes seem to drive her nuts. She can’t wear heels and that is what really gets under her skin. I get it and I can empathize. But she made me the target of her frustration. She felt she was well within her rights to make any type of remark about my shoes, anywhere, and at any time. Since her stated reason for not being able to wear heels was health-related, I apparently looked mean if I retorted to her nagging. Her tactic was annoying but it would have been worse it she had chosen a more sensitive subject like my face or character. I can’t imagine how celebrities deal with some of the things said to and about them. 

Kim Novak’s look may not be for everyone. I think she looks lovely. She is over 80 and put together. I also think Judi Dench looks just great too, in a different way. I can appreciate both ladies. 

When it comes to Goldie Hawn and Ellen Barkin I think their critics are envious. I am not saying that I think every woman desires to have their look or lifestyle, but happy, confident people don’t need to pick apart someone else. That is a game played by green-eyed monsters.  Others throw barbs at celebrities hoping to attract attention or readers.  Similar scenarios play out in smaller social groups all the time. This is mean and almost always an attempt to cut another woman down to size. 

I had a witty friend who was beautiful, eccentric, and a magnetic for envy. She used to say to critics, “Darling, what you think of me is none of my business.” She was right; the only answer to give to the increasing number of critics one must face is to sweetly say, “Darling what you think of me is none of my business.”