Hot blooded bosses and cold-shouldered victims

David LettermanDarlings, once again I am flummoxed by the media, especially by female commentators. Recently, popular talk show David Letterman announced he had been the victim of an attempted extortion. The plot involved a CBS news producer, Robert J. Halderman, who allegedly attempted to blackmail Letterman about his sex life. Letterman told his audience about the attempted plot. He also admitted that he had had sex with several of his female employees. He recounted the producer’s approach, how he called his lawyer, and finally how he called the authorities — and how they trapped the would-be perpetrator in a sting operation. It was a strange and awkward story.
 
But even stranger to me was the knee-jerk outrage by women commentators on behalf of the poor female victims of Letterman the Lothario. Grow up ladies. I was incredulous listening to them. They have the wrong victims. And believe me darlings, there are victims. The real victims in situations similar to the Letterman office-dating scenario are the women and men who were not dating or sleeping with the boss. If you have not worked in an office where the big boss had a “sugar baby”, lucky you. It is, at best, annoying, and at worst, maddening.
 
Imagine the frustration of hardworking, bright people having to deal with sexual favoritism. How maddening to be passed over for choice assignments and promotions by a colleague whose only qualification is dating the boss. It’s a tricky situation, and hard to complain about without looking mean or jealous or committing career suicide. These relationships are often secretive and the helping hand given to the lover is often done from an arm’s length. After all, most of these moguls did not get to be moguls by being careless; they know how to cover their tracks. It seems that Halderman may have come by his dirt on Dave through a common X-girlfriend, and that he may have even pilfered her diary and belongings.
 
Liaisons between a powerful boss and bright young females in the office are much more common today in a white collar environment than sexual harassment. Old-fashioned crude harassment happens, but more to blue-collar girls these days — or at lower echelons of the white collar world. More women bosses have cleaned-up most offices of overt crassness.
 
Barbara Walter's had an affair with her boss i nthe way upMost moguls and celebrities do not have to harass anyone; there are plenty of ambitious young things flocking to be “noticed” by powerful men.  When promoting her memoir, Barbara Walters spoke unabashedly of dating her boss on the way up. She also admitted to a long-term affair with a married man. This behavior is not new. David Letterman met his last longstanding girlfriend at work, as well as his wife. So have many other well-known men.
 
The idea that David Letterman or any man in his position would need to harass the women who work for them is almost ludicrous.  Letterman is a celebrity. He is rich and powerful – and women will be attracted to him. He has a certain charm. And actually, for all any of us now, he may have removed these women from his influence once he became involved with them. But it is almost certain they benefited in some way.
 
The problem with men like Letterman using their workplace as a harem is the disadvantage in which it places other workers. When their relationships fall apart, the women they have frolicked with are usually rewarded, if only to placate and silence them. Some women have shot to national prominence as a result a single liaison with a powerful man – eclipsing more talented and deserving colleagues. It’s a lousy state of affairs.
 
I was flabbergasted that none of the women who were so shocked by Mr. Letterman’s conduct never thought to comment on this issue. Darlings, I assure you I am not thrilled with anything about this situation. Don’t think for a moment, I am condoning Mr. Letterman’s behavior, but if he was single at the time, perhaps he was only guilty of not finding the objects of his affection new jobs far from his sphere of influence. But I contend the women most likely knew exactly what they were doing and even pursed him.
 
Life is not fair, but no one should have to play second-fiddle to a sugar-baby in the workplace. It demeans us all. The combination of work and love is complicated and can be volatile. I think companies that have no dating polices are unrealistic. As the old song goes, “birds do it, bees do it…”  I’m not sure you can put red-blooded creatures together for so many hours in a week and not have sparks fly. That is why you have to exercise self-control or remove the source of temptation if you are in a committed relationship or you are the boss. We are all only flesh and sometimes very hot blooded, but that never gives us reason to cold-shoulder our colleagues.
 
 
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The hot new hair guru and his must-have product line

White Sands Signature LookIf you want know how to make your hair look fabulous you won’t miss this week’s interview with Fernando Salas, creator of White Sands. It is one the most innovative hair lines today. The products have been recommended on The View by Barbara Walter’s personal hair stylist. Fernando shares his in-depth knowledge of hair care, colour, styling, and trends. He also explains how and when to use his unique White Sands products.

 
I recently tried Liquid Texture. It allowed me to blow dry my hair to perfection in less than 15 minutes. It reacts to heat to create a phenomenal shine; the more heat you the use, the shinier the hair becomes. The product also created a humidity barrier that was unreal, even in a light mist. My hair was still touchable and brushable, not sticky or stiff. I should confess that I am normally a disaster at blow-drying my hair, and the Liquid Texture helped me to control it. It is my new must-have product.
 
I have also used the ERFusion. It is serious rehab for damaged hair. Beauty editors are raving about this one.
 
DD: Can you colour and style your hair and still avoid having damaged hair? Often if you have blonde or highlighted hair, stylists tell you not to heat style it –but you want and need to style it? What is the solution?
FS: Yes, you can color and avoid damage. The dynamics are fairly simple. When you color or style your hair, the cuticle layer explodes from the ammonia, and/or from the heat of a hot tool. To fix the imbrications or breaks in the cuticle structure, we need to create the right moisture balance and compact the cuticle layer. When these two elements are equalized, the hair is flawless from end to end. To achieve this, White Sands creates products to create soft, touchable beautiful hair that protect your color 50% better and gives your tresses a second breathable skin for the correct moisture balance.
 
DD: What can you do if you hair is already dry and bit damaged, and you don’t want to cut it really short?
FS: A good start is deep reconditioning treatments, such as White Sands ER Fusion and Porosity the Fix which will give your hair the ability to hold moisture. The stress your hair is taking from salon services and thermal abuse makes different variations of dryness that can be fixed with proteins and moisturizers.  
 
DD:  There is a lot of emphasis today on preventing colour fade, but hair also grows. What is the best choice for a woman who wants colour or highlights, but who has limited budget?
FS: Subtle highlights — meaning few in number — will make your color last longer because it won’t show regrowth. Choose the tone of the highlights from the flex of your eyes. Do not bleach then tone, because the tone in the bleach will fade and you will be left with white hair. Compliment your subtle highlights with White Sands color secure shampoo and conditioner.
 
DD: Many women live in areas with high humidity, and five minutes after they leave the house their hair frizzes.  Are there any products that can really stand up to frizz, but leave hair soft and natural?
FS: First, we need to fix the moisture balance in your hair with our Porosity the Fix. Then, seal it with any of the Liquid Texture and Infinity sprays that have been proven to repel moisture in the toughest weather conditions such as in Florida or Japan.
 
DD: What do you suggest for women with curly hair who want control and shine?
FS: Curly hair that looks dull and unmanageable since the imbrications of the hair are open and lack of moisture. We recommend a reconstructive treatment like ER Fusion then Porosity the Fix to correct moisture issues. Finally apply Glaze Plus which will define smooth curls, and seal it with any of the Liquid Texture sprays.
 
DD: Do you have any tips on how to blow dry hair for a smooth look?
FS: Use Porosity the Fix on towel damp hair to correct moisture on any hair type, then apply Liquid Texture Medium hold over the top of Porosity and begin round brushing. When you finish a section, cure the desired effect with a cold shot before you move to the next section. This will give you a flat iron finish (silky smooth) with volume.
 
DD: How do you prevent you stylist from making your hair overly blonde, or highlighting you until you are a blonde? And if it happens how you do correct it without dying your hair dark?
FS: Ask your stylist to be sensitive to your request and take the extra time to be consistent with your color. When you have gone to blonde, the best correction is lowlights and highlights combined. On the lowlights, only go one shade darker than your natural color. This way you will have a natural fade and longevity.
 
DD:  Is there an easy way to do a simple chignon similar to the ones popular with celebrities for red carpet occasions?
FS: Pre-wrap the hair in pin curls, hot rollers, or a curling iron with the Liquid Texture Firm hold on dry hair for long lasting curls. Let it cool. Then, take the curls down and separate the hair into two or three sections. Gather a section, comb into your hand, and do a half turn (left or right). Next, push the hair down into the center and pin. Continue doing this until you have reached your desired look.
 
DD: What are latest trends from Hollywood for styles and colors?
FS: It depends on where the individual falls in the trends, which is the fad, the trend, or the classic because it is about identity expression. For example, Christina Aguilera falls into the fad: her blond would be considered a white minx (stark white). The classic in a similar tone would be considered silent snow (soft iridescent); where as the trendy blondes are sandy color variations.
 
DD: Are there any tricks to help brunettes cover stubborn grey and look less harsh?
FS:Yes! Your stylist needs to use a color line that has an opaque color molecule. This offers 100 percent coverage on all hair color. Another trick is to color the roots only. This will leave brunettes looking natural since this technique offers a soft fade.
 
DD: What is your best hair tip to make any one look better in a hurry?
FS: Give your hair a quick lift by using Liquid Texture Firm hold at the base to give volume. Plus, this product totally refreshes your style.
 
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