Bad manners bring bad karma

Becki Newton as Amanda Tanen-Sommers on Ugly Betty was a nightmare!  She had bad manners and bad karma!One of the tackiest ways of trying to curry attention is the ugly habit of bragging by complaining.  

Recently, a woman I know slightly was guilty of this. It was painful to witness. She works as a part-time receptionist, and also as a fashion journalist and blogger. She “complained” to me about her schedule for the week, and all the fashion events she “had” to attend. Soon, it became clear she was not so much bemoaning her fate as broadcasting her “glamorous life” in the world of fashion.
 
I understand why she is so excited to be part of industry she loves. What I don’t get is her crashing lack of manners. Obviously no one has ever taught her that it is bad form and bad luck to complain about good fortune. It was so uncomfortable to listen to her boast to her colleagues about the demands of her fashion job, that I quickly ended the conversation and left.
 
She is not alone with her bad manners. I still have not forgotten the young man who shocked me a few years go when he complained that his friends “were not in his snack bracket any more.” He had made this crass, bizarre, and dismissive statement within minutes of meeting him at cocktail party, in response to a query about whether he had been enjoying the summer. It had been lovely in Toronto, with plenty to do.
 
Complaining about parties, travelling, vacations, or wealth courts bad karma. It is also rude and foolish to assume anyone listening buys it.
 
Some may recognize it as the desperate attention-seeking behaviour that it is.
But others may be plugging away and longing for the very things you are moaning about. So darlings, if you have been of whining about an embarrassment of riches –knock it off.
 
Good manners haven’t changed. The rules you should have learned at school still apply. If people aren’t invited to the party, don’t mention it in front of them, unless it happened far away or long ago. Save your chatter about events, trips, and other goodies for your best friends, mother, or colleagues who are on the same path in life. It is fine to mention an upcoming vacation or share cute photos with casual friends, but when in doubt downplay things.
 
Enjoy your accomplishments and the rewards they bring. But be discreet and polite –no one likes a braggart. I felt awkward and uncomfortable as the young woman at the reception desk tried to use me as sounding board for her thinly-disguised boasts.
And beware, as I warned her, if you complain about things too often they have a way of disappearing.
 
Bad manners often bring bad karma.
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