How to devastate on the first date

Babe Scott Babe Scott is the author of Delicious Dating, a new book that explains the relationship between men’s culinary and mating styles. She’s an expert on dining, dating, and men, and as research, she went on dozens of first dates.  

 
Among other things, the dating diva found out that getting dressed just right for dinner is essential.
 
“I had to turn my wardrobe into a weapon and make the process of dressing for dinner as finely tuned as a military operation,” she told us. “And believe me, style is the first salvo in the battle of the sexes.”
 
So darlings, if you are still battling to find your own true love, you won’t want to miss a word from one of our favourite dating divas.
 
Here’s Babe Scott and her wardrobe dictates:
 
What you have to remember is that men have absolutely no defenses against our womanly allure. Flaunt your femininity and you will have him eating out of your hand in more ways than one. It’s all about bringing your extended charm arsenal into play and showing off your curves. Your dating ensembles should make you feel you’re most confident and coquettish best. Here are some guidelines to ensure your style selections get him salivating:
 
Turn your wardrobe into a weapon
Your closet is one of your most important allies when it comes to success in the mating game. Just as a meal needs to look enticing to be appetizing, so should you. I recommend going through your wardrobe ahead of time to work out your most enticing ensembles. A little fashion forethought will take the stress out of dressing for a date.
 
My own rule is not to wear anything I don’t feel datable in. Even my gym clothes are curve-hugging and my office outfits show a suggestion of décolletage. Bad girls rule the boardroom too, in my opinion. And I believe a little sensual harassment in the workplace puts a spring in your step. You want to feel confident in any clothes you are wearing, as Mr. Right can show up anywhere, whether he’s doing a cat pose next to you or sitting one cubicle over.
 
Try on everything in your wardrobe in front of a full-length mirror, and be as honest as you can in your self-appraisal. If it doesn’t make the grade, get rid of it. Separate you’re dating outfits and make sure you have the right accessories for them, from necklaces to earrings to pantyhose and heels. Rate each ensemble in terms of how high they rate on the flirt meter so you will know what to wear depending on how much you want to turn up the heat.
 
Gravity-defying undergarments
You may need to buy a few more dating outfits. I always say: “Buy the dress and the occasion will find you.” A closet full of sweatpants is not good fashion feng shui, and is telling the world that you aren’t ready for company. I recommend outfits that flaunt your curves. Take your cue from Jessica Rabbit who famously said: “I am not bad; I was just drawn that way.”
 
The most important thing is to ensure you have quality undergarments. Get properly fitted for push-up bras that defy gravity. If you need a little extra padding, make sure they have some inbuilt va-va-va-voom. I would also get some nice panties rather than orthopedic ones. Beyond this I recommend buying some quality camisoles or bustiers that you can wear under low cut tops. You want to show a suggestion of cleavage, not the whole Grand Canyon. Depending on the weather, wearing control-top pantyhose to help streamline your silhouette is not a bad idea. Seamed stockings and even a fine fishnet are sexy and sophisticated, and get every guy’s imagination spinning.
 
Dresses that detonate
Once you have your undergarments worked out, I recommend form-fitting dresses or tops and skirts. There is nothing more feminine than a frock that moulds to your figure. Make sure the waist is cinched. It’s all about accentuating your curves so your body looks like a rollercoaster. Buy a few belts so you use them to further emphasize your waist and create an hourglass physique. Even if you have an athletic body like mine, you can still create a womanly shape.
 
Make sure the dresses show some décolletage. High-necked dresses are for librarians. It is also unflattering having black right up below your face. In fact, it is more aging than hospital lighting. I love a sweet-heart neckline, but a v-neck or even a scoop-neck also works. Breasts have enormous power over the male psyche, and while you don’t want them on full display, subtle cleavage can be used to devastating effect.
 
As far as baubles, I think jewelry should be used to enhance rather than to distract. Add a dash of sparkle to your ears or neckline but don’t wear pieces as big as Christmas ornaments. Your jewelry shouldn’t upstage you. I’ve seen earrings so huge that they could double as chandeliers, but the problem is that rather than notice the woman wearing them, all you notice is the ballroom they are wearing on their ears.
 
High heels
No dating outfit is complete without heels. They are the ultimate in sensuality. In fact, the stiletto was designed to mimic the shape of a woman’s foot during climax. If you find them hard to walk in them, there are brands like Cynthia Rowley that have heels that are easier on your feet. If they have support in the toe or a wedge heel they will be also be more comfortable. Whatever the state of your tootsies, there is no excuse not to have a few pairs of sexy shoes. They are among the most important articles in your wardrobe arsenal.
 
I usually pack flats in my handbag so I can put on my high heels just outside the restaurant or before I meet my date. No one wants to be walking miles in Manolos. Beyond the shoes, you should make sure that your toenails are immaculate. Invest in a quality pedicure. There is nothing more unappetizing than toes that should not be seen outside a dinosaur museum. On that note, a manicure is also important, as is a well-cared mane. Big bouncy sex kitten hair is my preferred look. Just as when it comes to your figure, you want your hair to be a bit voluptuous too.
 
Beyond this, I would wear a spritz of perfume, a tiny purse, and your prettiest smile. If you put your most fashionable foot forward, then you are guaranteed to snag a dishy guy.
 
BabeScott.com, follow her on Twitter.com/BabeScott or like her on Facebook.com/ChardonnayBabe.
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Dining for love

Babe Scott, the author of Delicious Dating: The Single Girl’s Guide to Decoding Men by Their Wining and Dining Styles thinks that a man’s choice of restaurants and his “dining style" offers clues to his love style. She identifies what she calls “10 Male Food Types”and explains what they mean at the table and in the bedroom.If your dinner dates has left you hungry for love, check out Scott’s unique perspective in our exclusive interview.

 
DD: Why did you write this book?
BS: I was inspired to write this book to solve the riddle of my disastrous love life, and in the process, the conundrum of men, saving myself and women everywhere from unnecessary heartburn. I was a woman who had spent her life focusing on feeding male appetites rather than satisfying my own. Consequently, I had become increasingly frustrated in my relationships with the less-fair sex, and beyond this my life lacked relish.
 
If you think about it, women have been conditioned to put men’s appetites and needs before their own for centuries. As a result, I think we have enough collective frustration to light the energy grid. We are not encouraged to embrace our sensual selves or to put a value on our subjective pleasure. Delicious Dating will enable women, as it did me, to change their romantic destiny and celebrate themselves through the staples — and to choose partners accordingly. Women do not live by beer alone. We all need poetry.
 
DD: Were you able to identify different types of dining daters based
on food or restaurant preference?
BS: Over the course of my research, I discovered 10 Male Dining Types. They run the gamut from Transfat Types to Low-Carb Cowboys to Pretzel Players to Food Sensualists. These dining types are revealed from a man’s food and restaurant preferences, his deportment at the dining table, and also by his whole approach to the date. It is all about how a man seduces a woman’s taste buds (or not). Understanding a Male Dining Type will help you discern a man’s character from his salient traits, to what he is likely to serve up as a partner and lover.
 
The Dining Types will enable women to work out what flavor of guy is right for them. It will help them make discerning choices that will satisfy their needs, whether for love, or lust, or both. Let’s face it: sometimes we want to sow our wild oats and sometimes to eat rolled oats. It will also help women avoid relationships that will leave them not only dissatisfied but suffering from dyspepsia.
 
DD: If you have opposite tastes in food, is the relationship doomed?
BS: It depends how far apart you are in the culinary spectrum and how much each of you is prepared to compromise. If your date is a Transfat Type and your preferences are more of a Food Purist or Sensualist persuasion, then I think it’s doomed. That is, unless one of you is prepared to make drastic changes. A Transfat Type, by the way, is as allergic to compromise as he is to collard greens, so you’ll be the one making allowances for his dietary habits — not to mention doing a double share of the housework.
 
Food goes so close to the heart of who we are and reflects so many other fundamental values that a man whose food preferences are in opposition to your own is likely to make you miserable. Even if you could make it succeed, a relationship shouldn’t be an endurance test. It’s all about being able to take pleasure in each other’s company. Take it from me, as someone who used to compromise my culinary values to please a man, the latter approach is not a recipe for sensual satisfaction. I prefer now to find partners that please my palate, my senses, and my soul.  
 
It’s a shared enjoyment of the staples that binds a relationship, so it is very important to consider how you bond over a shared meal. A man who doesn’t whet your appetite at the table is very unlikely to whet your appetite away from it.
 
DD: What is the worse dining mistake a man can make on a date besides the obvious bad table manners?
BS: I think the thing to be on guard against is if a man doesn’t try to woo your taste buds at all. This is an indication that he has no interest in investing in you as a person or getting to know you. This guy just wants to get his basic needs met. This man is most likely a Pretzel Player, a Dining Type only interested in sexual conquest rather than connecting with you. He is only interested in getting you drunk enough to comply with his advances, rather than diluting his efforts with anything that resembles dinner. This Type’s totem food, the pretzel, is the most nutritive content you are likely to get from this date.
 
A dining date signifies a man’s willingness to get to know you. By serenading your taste buds he is hoping to arouse analogous appetites. He is also demonstrating how he would perform as a lover and partner. This is why the dining date has always been such an historic part of courtship. We all know a man’s brains are hardwired to his penis, and dining together forces his neurons to take the scenic route rather than the express route. The romance of a shared meal forces him to engage his head and his heart, not just his loins.
 
Even if a guy is lacking in finesse but makes an effort to excite your palate, he might be a keeper. The men to watch are the ones who couldn’t give a kebab about courtship.
 
DD: Are men turned-off by women who don’t eat or who are too picky or critical?
BS: Men are really turned off by women who are picky or critical. Guys find it a real turn-off when a date orders something that’s not on the menu or only orders a salad sans dressing, which she then picks at as if it was as appetizing as lint. There is nothing alluring about a girl who eats nothing and doesn’t take joy in her appetites. They are also turned off by women who are overly critical. No one wants to go out with someone who has all the animation and appreciation of a waxwork.
 
It’s nice to express appreciation if a guy is making an effort to woo you over dinner. Even if a date is not to your taste, there is normally some kernel of deliciousness you can salvage from the evening. And it is always an opportunity to learn more about what you do and don’t want. Dating is a journey of self discovery, and every date brings you closer to finding out what your perfect male dish is.
 
 
DD: What are most and least romantic types of restaurants?
BS: This depends a lot on your own preferences. I don’t believe love or romance is a generic formula but, like cooking, it’s about working out the recipes that work for you. Some women might be totally excited by the idea of going to an unknown bolt-hole and enjoying a cuisine they’ve never tasted, whether it be Ethiopian or sautéed silkworms (a dish I tried on one of my more adventurous dates), while others might be find the thought of more unusual dishes completely unappetizing.
 
Some women like sampling extravagant fare and telepathic waiters at renowned restaurants with Five Star Men. Others like reliable mom-and-pop restaurants that feature traditional dishes with a Steak and Two Veg Type. And others prefer organic fare with a Purist who preaches the same food creed. This is why it is a good idea to taste-test the testosterone smorgasbord to find your own version of romance. It’s all about what tickles your own palate when it comes to men and menus.
 
DD: Should you cook a man dinner – and when?
BS: I believe that a woman should let a man woo her palate before she starts feeding his. The sexes are wired differently. Men are hunters and women are nurturers. It is important to let a guy demonstrate his caring side, before you start playing the role of homemaker. Remember, your courtship is a portent of things to come, and if you mother him from the start, you will probably find yourself fetching beers and vacuuming under his feet later on.
 
Let him put his best fork forward and find out who he is before you even think of cooking — and then make the food about sensuality, not domestic servitude. Many women make the mistake of trying to cook their way to four carats, but this is only the way to become part of the wallpaper very quickly. Let him win you, and decide if you want to invest in him.
 
Beyond this, I wouldn’t advise cooking for a guy or letting him cook for you, unless you are ready to go to bed with him. It is a very short trip (or a three-course one) from the kitchen to the bedroom. If the food is delicious, it’s pretty hard to resist the appetites that are aroused. If you do invite him home, be prepared for the sparks to fly.
 
DD: Who pays for the date and why?
BS: Again, there are no hard and fast rules. A Five Star Man will insist on paying, but a Gourmet Gigolo will look out the window while you pay. It depends what you are looking for in a man and a relationship. These are important things to flag early on. I think it is less about the amount of money a man spends than the effort he puts in that is really worth noticing.
 
Having said that, I think that if you are romantically interested and the man has asked you on the date, it’s fine for him to pay. It’s all part of his investment in getting to know you. My own rule of thumb is to pay for myself if I’m genuinely attracted to him. I also pay for myself if I’m not, so that I won’t have to try and elude his puckered lips later.
 
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