Another Perfect Storm

hits Gloucester

“Plus ça change, plus ç’est la même chose.” I was reminded of the old French saying about how things don’t really change when news broke of the highly-debated “pregnancy pact” in Gloucester, Massachusetts.  My first reaction was a mixture of doubt, sadness, anger, and world-weary acceptance; 17 teenage girls were said to have made a pact to become pregnant and raise their babies together.

I can’t say I was shocked - not in a world where young girls beat each other up, young teens gather to have group sex, and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports that one in four teen girls reported having had a sexually-transmitted disease (STD).

So I am saddened, concerned, and outraged, but not shocked. A quick perusal of the international news confirms the problem is wide-spread. Teen pregnancy is a concern in Britain. And in Canada, teen pregnancy rates may be down, but rates of STDs are up. Clearly, kids are not getting the safe sex message anywhere.

It seems that since the pregnancy pact story broke, the existence of an actual agreement among the girls has been hotly contested.  Nurses and others reported that the high school students who received positive pregnancy test results were jubilant. Since then, some reports say no one heard of the “pact” before Time magazine reported it. According to various reports including one that quotes a local mother who claims to know a few of the expecting girls, there was no pact as such. One of the pregnant teens appeared on a network morning show, denying there was an agreement. The headmaster of the high school - the original source of the story – can no longer recall how he first heard of the pregnancy pact. He also says he does not recall using the word “pact”. But he stands by the statement that according to student and staff chatter, some seven or eight girls intentionally got pregnant. Still others in the small fishing village speculate that the girls were trying to stir up trouble and get attention with all this talk of a “pact”. This theory claims they came up with the idea, as they were angry and bored with a lack of parental attention.

As a native New Englander and former teenager, I was and am suspicious of the idea of a planned pact. But I can readily buy the idea of bored and discontented teens cooking up this drama.  No one may ever know the real truth of what is behind this rash of teen pregnancies on the coast.

This scandal comes on the heels of a hot local debate as whether to provide free access to contraception in the high school and beefed-up sex education. Even though Massachusetts is one of the nine states to forgo federal funding by refusing to participate in the “abstinence only” sex education policy, Gloucester opposes proposals offering contraception. It is a largely and staunchly Catholic community, and talk of sex and birth control does not go down easily, despite the steady rise in the national teen pregnancy rate.

The problem of the rising rate in teenage pregnancy is not confined to this small New England village.  According to an expert quoted in the Christian Science Monitor (www.csmonitor.com) what is happening in Gloucester is just a reflection of a wider problem. According to CDC statistics, real progress had been made in reducing teen pregnancy prior to 1991.  Birth rates for teens ages 15-17 actually rose 3 percent in 2006. It was the first rise since 1991.

Reasons for teen pregnancy are predictable. They include low self-esteem and the need to be unconditionally loved by someone. Some experts also conclude that teens in economically-depressed areas see few alternatives for themselves.  Some girls may also be seeking a short cut to perceived adult independence. A few former teen mothers from the Gloucester area have actually waxed elegant in interviews as to the advantages and joys their teen pregnancies brought them. One mother in an interview on CNN, spoke of how her daughter forced her to “grow up.” She bragged about settling down, getting a college education and pursuing a career. No mention was made of how she managed child care, tuition, and all the other demands of single motherhood. She made me shudder. I could only wonder if she had made this little speech before and to whom.

The media mulls the influence of movies such as Juno ad nausea. Experts and pundits cluck and worry over the attention paid to celebrity baby bumps in magazines such as US and People. I saw Juno; the portrayal of an unplanned high school pregnancy was far from glam.  The conception was mechanical. The pregnancy was realistic which is to say, rather ghastly. The teenaged character felt awkward, uncomfortable, distended, emotional, and upset. It didn’t look fun, easy, or romantic. Even an idiot wouldn't aspire to that.

As for Hollywood’s celebrities, can we fault attractive young Hollywood moms for enjoying motherhood? Do we really want to go back to the days of tented maternity clothes, tacky flat shoes, and women who let themselves go for nine months?  Not me. I love the cute little yummy mummies. Experts will confirm they are healthier, and - heaven knows - they look happier!

As for the sad situation with Jamie Lynn Spears and her teen pregnancy, what can you do? That whole family is a mess. And so are the brilliant and talented Amy Winehouse and the talented and mixed-up Lindsay Lohan. We have always had tortured, talented geniuses, this is not a new thing. Marilyn was a lovely, sensitive, pill-popping, depressive. Dorothy Parker was a great wit and a great big drunk. Dear young Sylvia Plath wasa leggy blonde poet who baked great cakes, yet sheended it with her head in an oven. That’s why young women need good sex education, smart parents, and a solid community. After all most of my friends and I adored all of the women above, yet we managed to survive high school sans babies, drug habits, or arrests. We settled for a few affectations and occasionally driving our parents mad!

But darlings, I don’t think little girls who get pregnant at 14 are identifying with movie stars or anyone else famous, at least not in great numbers. I don't think they get their ideas from movies or books. They are not the girls with the stars in their eyes. If only they could dream, then they’d aim higher.

Obviously the answer lies not only in better sex education, but better education. Programs and teachers that let girls see better and more exciting lives for them than early motherhood are desperately needed.

Teaching abstinence alone is ridiculous. Teenagers have sex, and anyone who thinks it's better for young women to have unprotected sex obviously is not thinking of anyone’s welfare. I remember being a teenage very clearly. No one ever chose to have sex because they had access to information. Anyone who thinks that obviously needs their hormones checked. Information doesn’t start the sap flowing, but it just might check it long enough to prevent pregnancy or STDs. I’d love to ask every 40-year-old male abstinence-only blowhard to swear they were a virgin on their wedding night. Really, the hypocrisy boggles.

Sex education is the only part of the equation. Education has to inspire possibilities, or young women will seek to actualize themselves prematurely in motherhood. University has become so expensive that it is moving out of reach for many.

When I was in school, higher education was financially available to anyone who made an effort. With today’s outrageous tuition and arcane admissions policies, is it any wonder that some young women in economically-challenged areas find alternative validation?

What hasn’t been said about Gloucester in all the stories I have read is that this economically challenged little village sits next to very pricey and privileged enclaves. New Englanders are pretty down to earth, but there is never much of  a secret about who has the cash and the opportunities. Life has always been harsh that way. Gloucester was the scene of the fishing disaster depicted in the movie, The Perfect Storm. Perhaps what has happened to cause these teens to jeopardize their youth and future with premature motherhood is not the result of a pact.  Perhaps they were simply caught in another perfect storm, buffeted by winds of discontent and lack of opportunity, surrounded by dead-end jobs, lack of information about sex, and seemly no way out of an economically and psychologically depressed town. With few good career role models, they turn to the models they have for guidance: each other, older sisters and mothers, perhaps many too, who have been young mothers. In short all the makings of a perfect social storm.  

Stretch your creative boundaries

with designer Vicente Wolf

Vicente Wolf has been named one of the 10 most influential designers in the U.S., and has been inducted in Interior Design Magazine’s Hall of Fame. I recently saw him hold Atlanta’s creative community spellbound with his talk Inspiration: Seeing design with worldly eyes at AmericasMart, the city’s enormous wholesale marketplace.

Vicente regularly roams the globe, seeking different cultures and artworks for his projects. He captures the essence of his work and creative spirit in his latest book, Crossing Boundaries:A Global Vision of Design. Stunningly photographed by Vicente himself, he clearly and intimately articulates how he transforms his visual experiences while traveling to his final designs.

During his talk, Vicente eloquently defined the difference between a designer and decorator. He empathically stated he is not a decorator. But in his book, he takes the reader on a creative journey far beyond the scope of design as he encourages us to really see the world around us as we travel. For Vicente Wolf, every aspect of travel is a wellspring of creativity and inspiration. He believes that good design is guided by the principles of integrity and simplicity. I marveled at his ability to communicate his craft and enthusiasm. Vicente Wolf’s books are a must and a treat for anyone seeking to enhance their environment and their own artistry.

DD: Why did you decide to write this book?

VW: I wanted to be able to pass on the process that I took in learning my craft and share some of the beautiful inspirations I’ve come across on my travels.

DD: What inspired you to become a designer?

VW: It was something that I did since I was a kid - redoing my parent’s homes and my rooms all the time - only after being fired out of five different other professions did I came back to interior design through meeting Bob Patino and getting re-involved with design on a professional level.

DD: What is the difference between a designer and a decorator?

VW: A designer designs, whether it is furniture, architecture or fittings. It’s approaching the space from a much more form-function and architecture vantage than decoration, which - as the word implies - is about adding on, layering and applying details to a space.

DD:  How do you decide on a plan or a style for a particular room?

VW: I go purely on an instinctual approach, though I try different plans until one hits me

DD: How can a person who wants to work on their own home design best use the techniques in your book? 

VW: By following the steps that I laid out first determining what your personal style is and then analyzing the space to find out its pros and cons. Always start by creating a floor plan and laying it out on paper before you start with anything physical. When it’s time to look at color for your space, analyze what the things are that appeal to you – this can be paintings or natural features around you. Identify what the appealing aspects are and use this as inspiration for your color selections.

DD: Are there any principles or rules for beginners to follow when decorating room?

VW: Always work off a plan and never do it by eye.

DD: Your work is inspired by your travels, and yet you so completely avoid clichés. Can you give our readers some suggestions as to how to avoid this obvious and common pitfall?

VW: I think that if you strictly follow trends and the pack, you will fall into that pit. It’s better to become acquainted with your personal style and what appeals to you and then to follow the trend, weaving it into your personal style. You will end up being much more individual than if you follow the trend of the day.

DD:  Who has been your greatest professional inspiration and why?

VW: David Hicks, whose blending of traditional and contemporary was the guiding light that I followed when I started to form my own design identity.

For more about Vicente Wolf  www.vicentewolf.com
www.americasmart.com

Buy beauty better

With rising prices and a tightening economy, it is more important than ever to be a smart consumer when it comes to beauty services. According to reports, more women are putting off elaborate surgery and going in for less expensive and less invasive procures, such as Botox, Juvederm, Sculptra, and fat injections. In-office treatments, such as IPL and Thermage, that can stimulate collagen and tighten your skin, are popular too.

A little Botox can do more than many pricey creams, and it takes only minutes. The other procedures can also work wonders.  When choosing a doctor don't be swayed by slick advertising or claims that you can't check out. Pricey is not necessarily better. Recently, women I know have been deeply upset by the treatment they have received at the hand of high-profile doctors.

Look for doctors who will discuss prices and risks at length. Avoid anyone who pushes you to buy a treatment you don’t want. Good doctors under stand first timers can be skittish. The staff should give you after-care  instructions. Botox and fillers often need a touch-up. Be sure to ask if that is included or what is the cost.

Some doctors, can even use fillers to get rid of pesky foot pain. An injection of filler replaces the foot’s aging (ouch!) fatty pad and cushions the pressure felt when wearing heels. I think it’s a great idea if wearing pretty party shoes has become a pain. While you are there, your doctor’s staff can buff up really knackered looking feet by surgically getting rid for nasty corns and giving rough feet a dermabrasion and light peel if necessary. Pretty feet.  This can work for problem feet on women as young as thirty. I’d avoid surgery to shorten toes. They may do it in Hollywood, but unless you have an actual deformity, do not borrow trouble!

Older hands can benefit too. Certain injections can even help sore joints.

Dr. Cynthia Abbott a dermatologist in Atlanta told me about a new laser treatment to treat excessive sweating. Instead of multiple Botox injections costing $1,000 or more, she treats problem perspiration with a procedure similar to SmartLipo, a laser liposuction treatment. Under a local anesthetic, she can remove excess sweat glands in one or two treatments. The in-office surgery requires no down-time and costs slightly more than two Botox treatments, but the results are permanent. This new procedure works on underarms , but it is not appropriate for the hands or feet, for that there is still Botox. How fabulous is that?

Dr. Abbott also has Isolaz, the latest laser treatment to banish adult acne. . Isolaz can also remove discolorations and leaves your skin luminous.

The Toronto Acne Clinic offers many effective acne therapies, including Clearlight. I had Clearlight  there, and it worked really well for me. This clinic offers outstanding treatment and service. They also offer Botox and Fillers.

And for those who prefer to keep beauty holistic, cosmetic acupuncture in the hands of a master can be nothing short of miraculous. Beware of those who advertise acupuncture after only a weekend course, or who offer only needles and not a full-service treatment. If you are in Toronto a treatment with Fang Wang is heaven and not to be missed. You will be transformed inside and out.

Some of our picks for value and service:

The Ageless Center, Atlanta www.theagelesscenter.com  Best prices, fabulous service, very professional and always available. Highly recommended. 

Dr. Cynthia Abbott 404 203 9470 A wonderful doctor, caring and professional.

The Toronto Acne Clinic   www.torontoacneclinic.com  A great husband and wife team of doctors. No long waits and OHIP for most acne treatments. Caring environment.

Fang Wang  www.cosmetic-acupuncture.ca Simply the best.

We love to hear about your favourite doctor s or clinics, lets us know.

Photograph by:Sean Desbiens

Hair, Makeup and Styling: luana@luananicole.com

Smart sex in the city

A report by Anne Gravel

There’s good news from Trojan Brand Condoms - a new addition to their line of pleasure products that is a dreamboat of a condom.

This comes after a survey showed that 94 percent of women polled are concerned with their own pleasure when having sex. (We won’t ask about the other six percent.) Seventy-four percent care about which condoms they use. And 79 percent share Carrie Bradshaw’s condom confidence: they would not be embarrassed if a condom spilled out of their purses! The bad news: fewer then 10 percent of women aged 18-34 who were polled, actually carry a condom.

So, Trojan set out to increase that last number with their Trojan Her Pleasure Ultra Sensitive condoms. The company was inspired by polls that show - not surprisingly - that women want different things than men when it comes to condoms. For instance, women care about sensitivity (86%), thinness (75%) and low odour - the smell of latex just isn’t sexy.

The new Trojan condoms are micro-thin, made from low-odour latex, and enhanced with a silky smooth lubricant. They come in a fab female-friendly package. In my opinion, the thinness alone of the Trojans rivals the pricier Kimono brand, preferred by some condom connoisseurs.  Factor in Trojan’s very reasonable price of $9.99 for a package of three, and I’m hooked!

No time to Slather

Appling sun screen properly can take time and be sticky. That is one reason I prefer a spray. It takes only seconds to get a nice even protective coat. I love the new Ahava Sun Protection Anti-Aging Moisturizing Spray. It’s perfect for everyday in SPF 15 or 30 with UVA/UVB shielding.

Low-carb low-cal gazpacho

I just can’t get enough of cool and spicy gazpacho all summer long. It’s a perfect light lunch or as a low-cal late afternoon appetite spoiler. Technically the name connotes a bread soup, so my recipe is not at all authentic. But it is delicious and perfect if you are watching your weight and your carbs – so nobody call the food police.

Place all of these ingredients in a food processor or a blender and buzz until blended. If you like your soup chunky, pulse the machine. I like to blend it almost smooth. You can thin it with water, chicken stock, or vegetable juice if you like - and chill.

Sometimes I add additional chunks of cucumber before serving.

1can of  tomatoes: either San Marzano or Muir Garden Fire Roasted. (You can use 2½ cups of chopped fresh chopped tomatoes if you have them. I like canned in this recipe, as they are quick and delicious - and I make this a lot.)

1/3 -1/2  a zucchini small to med. rough chopped.

1/3 chopped unpeeled English cucumber

½ small sweet onions, chopped roughly

½ sweet red bell pepper, seeded, ribs removed, and chopped roughly

1 lg. clove of garlic peeled and chopped

1 tsp kosher salt

1 tsp jalapeño sauce green

1 tbsp. red wine vinegar

Juice from 1 lemon

Taste seasoning and correct before chilling.

Darlings, I hope you are all being smart about life in general. Some times in the name of being nice, women don’t speak up as we should, especially when dealing with doctors or even other beauty professionals. We are afraid of being rude or maybe of being mocked. Some of us are guilty of not doing our homework before choosing a doctor. We need to get over it. Ask questions, be comfortable with your doctors, nurses, and anyone who touches you – or leave.

As for smart sex, can I say enough? Thank heavens many young women are like own Anne, smart cookies. Obviously situations such as the sad one in Gloucester are a wake-up call to all. We need to inspire and educate all of our young women. Motherhood can be grand, but not as an escape from or into adulthood.

Darlings until next week enjoy, inspire and have a sweet week. You are all so very special.

Remember: please sign-up to DolceDolce if you haven’t already. DolceDolce is free! And forward us to all your friends. Because life should be sweet