Take time for yourself

Do you make time for yourself? Before you stop reading and think “she’s crazy - who has the time?”, consider this, darlings: if you don’t who will?  And when you finally do, will it be too late?

Before I go further let me say that sometimes we really have no time. Life will have the occasional crisis. Serious illnesses, career challenges, and other serious problems happen. There is no way around it, and it can stretch even the most organized and balanced woman to the brink. It is just another good reason to take care of yourself and build your reserves. And don’t forget to reach out to good friends; they can help keep you healthy. Good relationships are as strengthening as weightlifting and muti-vitamins.

However, others have picked up the unhealthy idea somewhere that good girls always come last and don’t deserve to take time to take care of themselves. How healthy and untrue is that?

Then, there are the sad and misguided sisters who wear their “busyness” as a badge. They are always “too busy” to chat, attend their child’s school play, or shop. I guess they missed the email that super-busy is no longer a sign of prestige, it is just a sign that something is terribly wrong. It’s so last millennium.

I know taking care of yourself isn’t a new concept, but for some reason we all resist it to some degree. I have a list of things to do to take better care of myself. Do you need a list too?  Some may dismiss my list strategy. Only you will know if works for you, or if a list just contributes to a clutter problem. Personally, I find lists and affirmations work  for most bright women.

Taking care of yourself for most of us is not simple, but it is vital. It’s what gives you the strength and grace you need to weather life’s crises. Caring for yourself makes you a better caregiver, too. Show me a loving women and I’ll show you one who has learned to love herself.

Life is hard, and any challenges - even the mental and emotional kinds - are easier when you are in good shape. It’s vital to find time to eat well and get some exercise. We know being fit helps to fight a multitude of killer diseases. It’s not a guarantee, but there are no guarantees in life.  It’s what I call a fighting chance. Exercise also relieves depression and helps to make you look fabulous. I am convinced looking fabulous also helps you avoid a certain amount of depression. It definitely gives you more energy. 

Life is hard, and any challenges - even the mental and emotional kinds - are easier when you are in good shape. It’s vital to find time to eat well and get some exercise. We know being fit helps to fight a multitude of killer diseases. It’s not a guarantee, but there are no guarantees in life.  It’s what I call a fighting chance. Exercise also relieves depression and helps to make you look fabulous. I am convinced looking fabulous also helps you avoid a certain amount of depression. It definitely gives you more energy. 

Get health savvy. Be a grownup; speak up at the doctors’ office and ask questions.  Recent surveys show that more women knew their weight in high school than their blood pressure or cholesterol numbers. Actually it’s good to know all three.  According to study by Harvard researcher Dr. Joanne Manson, the point you weigh more than 22 pounds than you did in high school is when you could start to develop serious weight-related health issues. Blood pressure problems and high cholesterol are serious, as they are related to stroke, diabetes, and heart disease. You are never too young or too skinny to pay attention to this stuff. Darlings, these are the basics.

If you don’t like your doctor, you won’t go when you should. Find one you like and go see him or her. Ask your friends to refer you to good doctors they like, and if the doctor is not taking new patients, ask your friends to help you get an appointment. Do this before you need a doctor. You need a doctor you like and who also likes you. It’s important. You get better care from a doctor you click with. Jerome Groopman of the New Yorker, in his fabulous book How Doctors Think, confirms this. Forget fads and medical scare stories. Bond with your doc and ask questions.

If you are stressed and have disposable cash, think about acupuncture and massage. Again, get a good referral from a friend. Dump anyone who doesn’t make you feel fabulous. This especially includes therapists. Get a good one or don’t bother!  Also darlings, if you spent a long time in a stressful situation and now it’s over, be sure you are not still suffering. Learn when to relax and uncircle the wagons. 

Take time for skin care, hair, and the whole fashion thing. If money is tight, learn to do it yourself. Get a good haircut. If you need colour go to a salon or read the archives for other reliable solutions - but do it.

You need to look good to feel good and, darlings, never forget you deserve it. Don’t spend yourself into debt, if that is your challenge now, but find a way and the time to take care of you.

Make time for your dreams and your friends. Take care of them and they will take care of you. Friends are oxygen and the greatest antioxidant on the planet. Don’t ever forget it. Hold your friends close and take good care of them.

I am a great believer in keeping up a public face and a bit of sparkle. I know it works. The world is a harsh and a hungry place for too much vulnerability, unless you are a talk show host or celebrity chatting with one. I  believe in keeping up your front and holding a bit in reserve when you are down and crushed. Save a big cry or confession for close friends. Rejuvenate over tea and sympathy with the trusted few and live to flourish another day.

Keep hold of your dreams carefully. Watch them transform you as they change from dreams to blueprints for your life.

Shake and shimmy your way to fitness

Hemalayaa can tempt even the most fitness-phobic to get into shape - and have fun - with her DVD, Bollywood Burn. In this exclusive interview, the yoga teacher shares her unique outlook and approach with DolceDolce readers. Hema has a gift for inspiring even the shyest participants to own and express their beauty, sacredness, and femininity. 

DD: What makes Bollywood dance so popular and appealing?

H:  It is fun and makes us smile and laugh a lot. Exercising can get too serious sometimes (even yoga). This dance workout allows us to have fun and get a great workout. I think that is the most important thing when exercising - to find something that makes us feel happy during and after.

Bollywood movies are very fun to watch! They are filled with elaborate song and dance numbers. I know when I watch, "I want to play and feel like that!"

DD: Are the dance moves hard to learn?

H: Not at all! I am not a professional dancer, nor have I ever trained to be. I am inspired by the music and we lead up to the moves, by breaking them down. It's really easy, and a good workout. 

DD: Is the Bollywood style dance that you teach related to yoga?

H: It's not related to yoga, but I do teach both, and sometimes inter-twine them within the classes, retreats and workshops. I feel we create kundalini (energy) with the dance and bring in the focus with yoga. 

DD: Do you have a background in yoga or Indian classical dance?

H: My background is in yoga, and Odissi - the style of Indian classical dance that I love - is the form I study. I will be a student of this dance for lifetimes to come, since it takes about that long to learn it. I started studying and practicing yoga way before I began this dance, so I guess you could say "My background is yoga".

DD: What are your tips for a beginner - especially those of us who are not naturally graceful or co-coordinated? 

H: First of all, let me tell you that I was the most uncoordinated human on this planet. I couldn't even do aerobics when it was "cool". It took me a long time to let that embarrassment go and let the music inspire me. Then I felt happy, and nothing really mattered. I felt good, so then looking good just followed.

I tend to do things slower, and gradually in my classes and DVDs - focusing more on the mood, rather than the moves. Some advice is: Have fun and don' t worry about "trying to get it". It will naturally start to be comfortable in your body once you practice a few times. 

DD: Do you have any tips for anyone who wants to use this DVD as part of a weight loss program?

H: Yes. Do as much of the workout as you can every second day until you notice results (which shouldn't take you too long). Then you can do it three times a week after that.

Thank you for the opportunity to share this dance with others. It is my passion to bring joy into the world with these practices.

Hemalayaa’s DVDs include: The Bollywood Dance Workout, Dance of the Kama Sutra, and Bollywood Burn. For more information: www.AcaciaLifestyle.com

Lash envy, no more!

Most girls wouldn’t be caught dead without their mascara – we love our lashes. We want them long and lush, but clean and natural too. It’s a dilemma! How do you get long and lush and not clump or lumps?

My latest find: L’Oreal Paris Clean Definition Telescopic Mascara. It gives you just what it says, clean definition. It has a skinny, little brush. Frankly, darlings, I had my doubts, but it went on clean. Even my skinny, pale little lashes got long. It comes in all the regular shades, but I like really sooty lashes, so I prefer the special editon Telescopic Carbon Black. For a lighter, more natural look, stick to the regular Clean Definition Telescopic

The most important meal of the day on the Atlantic shore!

Darlings, time for another confession. I am not a breakfast person. I’m even not much of a brunch person. Shame on me. I miss a lot, I really do. I sit happily ensconced with my magazines, paper, and remote control in a room with a diet soda and room service, or even tacky takeaway.

But being surrounded by a legion of breakfast-loving friends who have discovered the best places to eat in the most unlikely places, I couldn't ignore Rise and Dine: Breakfast in Boston when it arrived on my desk. I know what a deal breakfast is; I hear all about it.

The author Barbara Brown Smith does a stellar job telling the reader where to find the real Boston for breakfast or brunch, 24/7. I should know, darlings, I am a native. She made me hungry and homesick. Boston is a great place to visit.

DolceDolce Tips:

Give fragile hair professional TLC

I have a fear of damaged hair. You see it on celebrities all the time: hair that is dried, fried, and broken. I have even seen dreaded hair loss. If you colour your hair and highlight, blow-dry, heat-style or use the dreaded extensions (they can cause serious damage) your hair needs extra help.

I like to use Roux Fermodyl. This leave-in deep conditioner is weightless. Top stylists have used it for years as an add-on treatment. It's sold at beauty supply shops or online, at about $8 for three ampoules. I get about three treatments for my shoulder length bob from just one ampoule. I just toss it in towel-dried hair, and then style. I really like it because it leaves my hair shiny and easy to style. According to the major beauty supply chain where I buy it, it is one of their top sellers.

Hair masques can be effective too, so if you style with heat or colour regularly think about extra TLC, before your hair looks damaged. Use something for your hair type (Fermodoly makes products for all hair types and problems), do it at home, do it regularly, and reap the beauty benefits. Darlings, you’ll be gorgeous!

Mid-winter itch

Oh, do I loathe those TV commercials about itchy skin lotions! They make it worse. I feel the same about cold medicine commercials. I just don’t need anything to remind me of how uncomfortable these irksome aspects of the season are. I actually start to itch or get congested if I don’t flee or flick the remote. If you ask me, few lotions really get the job done. I have told you about the great products I favour: body butters, serums, and oils.

Now you can add a new one - CoverMark Beauty’s Night Magic. It’s a heavy but lightly scented cream full of wheat germ oil, beeswax, and lanolin. It won’t win prizes for innovation, but my dry, sensitive skin drinks it up. It’s so delicious, I even stick it under my eye, right on top of my pricey eye cream, to occlude - or seal it in. I learned this trick from a top derm and it works great. I do it with all by favourite heavy greasy potions and credit them for my lack of crow’s feet. Use a light touch. Night Magic is also lovely on flaky feet and elbows, and the scent is pretty. About $42 a jar. www.cm-beauty.com

Rubies on an emerald bed

This salad has it all. It’s quick and easy, has few ingredients, and is so elegant and delicious, you can serve it to guests. It uses the stunning and sweet Sicilian Blood oranges that are in season this time of year. They come mostly from California and are easy to buy at most markets. They are also great fresh-squeezed in a Sicilian Sling - an original DolceDolce cocktail.

Juice caught from the cut fruit

¼ cup white balsamic

1/3 cup good olive oil

Peel 4 blood oranges and cut them on a board over a bowl so you can catch the juice. Slice the oranges in medium slices. Most of these oranges are seedless.

Defrost 2 cups of good quality frozen fresh French-cut green beans. Salt and pepper. Do not cook. Top the beans with thin slices of lightly salted sweet onion or red onion. Then top the salad with the dressing and toss. Top with the oranges. This is best made at least 15 minutes or more before serving. I like to make it an hour before. You can also add some black olives if you like.

I have made this salad with regular oranges and it tastes fine, but is not as dramatic. Blood oranges at their peak are so red they look like rubies and the beans are not cooked so they stay temptingly emerald green. This salad is mouthwatering in the middle of winter and will tempt even the most jaded of taste buds with fresh clean flavours. 

A DolceDolce original cocktail recipe

Sicilian Sling

A tall refreshing Cocktail

Shake and serve over ice

3 oz. fresh Blood Orange juice

1 ½ oz. vodka

½ oz. limoncello

Top with sparkling soda

Winter follies

Here we are smack in the winter swirl. Even the south has gotten a bit of a chill lately. As I write this, my husband tells me he detected a trace of snow in the air today. By the Canadian’s count, this is the fourth flurry this winter in Atlanta.

Next week: my visit week to Quebec City for winter carnival. I’m also very excited to help one of the oldest cities in North America celebrate its 400th birthday this year. Quebec is certainly one of North America’s most beautiful cities - a taste of Europe in the New World. It’s great and scenic in all seasons, but it truly lights up for the annual Carnaval de Quebec. The people of Quebec warm up to their snowy climate with joie de vivre. I knew I wouldn’t stay out of the snow and ice for long. It appears to be my destiny.

Darlings, if you haven’t got your flu shot yet, please get one! It is the height of flu season, but it will last into April. You are all precious and deserving, so I hope you take good care of yourself and your friends. Treat yourself, tempt yourself, and let yourself dream.

Until next week please sign-up if you haven’t already – DolceDolce is free! And forward us to all your friends. Because life should be as sweet as a Blood Orange.