Not for love or money

We live in strange times, and no one needs me to point that out. This week new research was released that shows that we process cash and social values in the same part of the brain.

One of the studies was published in Neuron magazine and by The National Institute of Mental Heath (NIMH); the other came from the Japanese National Institute for Physiological Sciences (NIPS). Both confirm what most people have always taken for granted: we all value money and status equally. There is no doubt that this is valuable information as to how the body and mind are related and how social position can cause stress.  It reinforces earlier British Whitehall I& II studies in the1960s and 1980s that found lower status civil service workers had the highest rate of stress-related health complaints.

What I found most interesting and disturbing was how the media presented this information. I awoke to a popular morning show where they were actually offering commuters a choice of cash or compliments. They and others had headlined this study as “compliments as valuable as cash”. It boggles the mind.

Now darlings, before you think I’ve lost my sense of humour and gone off the deep end, think about how often employers try to buy off employees with meaningless titles and other foolishness instead of the cold hard cash they need to pay the bills. That is what makes this interpretation actually frightening.

The “pink ghetto” formerly designating low-paid female clerical and retail workers is expanding. It now includes all types of underpaid and over-worked women in fields that can include publishing, public relations, banking, medical services, and just about anything else.

The jobs are usually entry-level, but can include mid-level positions, too. There is usually little authority or real-monetary reward. Many strive desperately for the title of manager or supervisor and the paltry rewards it brings. The supervisors or ‘bosses’ like to tether their employees 24/7 with email, text messages, and phones calls. There is seldom over-time compensation, but there is status. Or perhaps I should say perceived status and the promise of advancement. Often there is bullying.

I have seen lots of smart women fall into these traps. Often they just needed to work and hoped things would get better if they worked hard. I have seen entire corporations take on these strategies, thinking that opportunity and perceived status is a great cost cutting measure, especially for bright and hungry young employees who want in.

Studies like the ones released are important. They confirm or refute what truly motivates us and also holds us back. Charting which areas of the brain react during reward-driven behavior could be useful information for employees and employers alike. I imagine we are just at the beginning of these discoveries.

When I hear the simplistic interpretation "compliments as good as cash", it makes me sad and a bit angry. I think of how many corporations may use that information not in a positive way, but as a springboard for more inane reward programs in the place of good old cash. I think of more poor employees who will get stuck with so-called incentive-programs offering anything but cash and benefits and other inane Human Resources inventions. If employers asked employees what they really want and need half the things HR does for the employees’ “benefit” would stop tomorrow and be replaced by cash, insurance, and flex-time.

There are bright spots. Every week I meet people who are happy at work. They have lucked out with great bosses and companies that know their employees are an asset. There are people who get it, who try to make it work for everyone. Smart employers know that people need cash and compliments to survive with drive.

It is exciting to think of what else researchers might uncover about what motivates or stresses us out. I love this new scientific way to check what the pollsters say we say. An MRI doesn’t lie. This latest information might also explain why many women who have status at work and receive compliments may find work at home so stressful. Let’s face it:  despite all the positive PR, child care and housework still rank a very low status in our society.

We are all a little status-sensitive sometimes. It’s human nature. I was lucky to have had Eleanor Roosevelt’s maxim drilled into me when I was very young. She was famous for proclaiming “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Given the result of these studies, getting a handle on our values may be even more important today - given how our perceived place in social hierarchies can influence not only motivation but also physical and mental health.

Darlings, compliments will not pay your bills, but heartfelt ones at the right time can help children, friends, and even stranger’s bloom. Never let anyone pay you off with cheap compliments or short you on a pay cheque for too long. Scrimping and feeling short-changed makes too many women physically ill. Now we have studies to prove it. There are fabulous businesswomen who will help you out of this type of situation. They play fair at the work game. If you aren’t getting what you deserve at work, or are being bullied, don’t quit until you find a new job. But start looking today.

The rest of us need to stand up to the bullies a bit more, even in this economic climate. We know who they are. Those of us who are in a position to do so need to call them out, when they treat others badly. That might be the best use of a status symbol: using it for a little positive moral suasion. After all a woman should never have to choose between love and money.

Say “om” instead of ouch

If your back hurts, let back guru Desiree Rumbaugh help you find a pain free path. Her new DVD Yoga to the Rescue for Back Pain is designed to help you realign and improve your posture for a pain free stance. We had this DVD tested by two long-time back pain sufferers and both said it was excellent. So, if you have a serious issue please check with your doctor. But if you are a mass of kinks, this might be your ticket to “om” instead of ouch.

DD:  What motivated you to make Yoga to the Rescue for Back Pain?

DR:  I have been teaching yoga for more than 20 years now. The most common request I get is to help people with their back pain, so I thought it would make a good program for a home practice DVD all in itself.

DD: Is yoga safe and effective for the relief of back pain? 

DR:  Yes, absolutely! All that is necessary is a simple education in the Universal Principles of Alignment and how to apply them to your individual body. If a person practices aligning with these laws of nature every time he or she experiences back pain, and if he or she is successful in making the pain "go away", in a fairly short time back pain will be a thing of the past.

DD: Should you see a doctor before starting this tape, if the back pain is serious? 

DR: Yes.  This tape is not a substitute for medical treatment.  However, in many to most cases, back pain is something that can be solved with stretching and strengthening.  It is useful after surgery, if that is necessary.

DD: Would this tape be helpful for other problem such as a stiff neck?

DR: Yes, as it is an education in proper spine alignment, healthy stretching, and strengthening all parts of the spine to work together as a whole.

DD:  Why is yoga so helpful for so many problems, including Multiple Sclerosis?

DR: The practice of yoga increases self-awareness at all levels.  It teaches us how to be friends with our body and how to take the best care of it in all ways.  Therefore, people who devote themselves fully to a yoga practice always become healthier.

DD: How important is stretching to health? How many problems originate from lack of flexibility? 

DR: As we age, and even in the case of some young people, our tissues can become stiffer.  When muscle tissue is stiff, it lacks blood flow or circulation. Healthy tissues require a steady and even blood flow to move with greater ease and recover from poor posture while sitting or driving, or even to recover from our beloved sports and fitness activities.  Many of our favorite activities, such as golf or tennis, can also be asymmetrical - in that we favour one side of the body while performing them. Yoga is completely based in symmetry, which is comforting and balancing to the body. That is why it is so compatible with everything else we do.

Also, yoga, unlike any other exercise program, turns the body upside down and twists the organs.  These actions keep us healthy inside and out.  Most people who exercise regularly are unaware that they could be doing things that also benefit their organs as well as their muscles.  Yoga does both.  When the muscles are kept strong and flexible, the bones and joints are also healthier.  Being upside down prevents diseases that end in "itis", such as arthritis and bursitis and may others.

Another side benefit of yoga is a highly adaptable and healthy relationship with oneself.  People who practice yoga regularly notice that they become more self-aware and self-accepting over time.  This contributes to greater peace of mind and less stress over everyday problems, and helps us to deal with others more gracefully.

To order Desiree Rumbaugh’s new DVD Yoga to the Rescue for Back Pain, and for more information, go to: www.acacialifestyle.com

Uptight about plastic bottles

If you have been following the plastic bottle scare, you probably know that the Swiss-made bottles by SIGG are safe. If it’s been on your to-do list, let us bring you up to speed. We recommended SIGG water bottles and insulated thermoses a few months ago as a way to cut down on sky high bills for designer water and $3 lattes.

We also thought it was a terrific way to cut down on planet crushing plastic. Now you have another reason to invest in safe and reusable containers for your favorite daily bevies.  This is a great idea for Mother’s Day too. Think about getting her a hot and cold water bottle –and maybe keep a spare in the dish drainer. Both of these online stores stock a selection and ship to the U.S. and Canada. www.onlinefitness.com www.metalwaterbottlestore.com

Budget beauty

We love beauty and beauty products, but we also love having money left over to buy shoes and more shoes!  Luckily there are some value-priced products that are so good that you just can’t do any better at any price. How fabulous is that?

Palmers Cocoa Butter Formula

with Vitamin E and SPF 15

One of our favourite all purpose moisturizers is even better with addition of the best doctor-recommended sunscreen ingredients. At SPF 15, this is not the lotion you take to the beach for heavy sunning, but it is perfect to slick on your arms and legs every day. Your skin will look and feel like butter – and don’t forget your décolletage!  This is drugstore luxe at it’s best.

We flipped over the new Sonia Kashuk Beauty Limited Edition Collection at Target. Sonia Kashuk has been long known as the makeup artist to A-list celebrities. Now she has a gorgeous line of makeup and accessories that belies their affordable price tags.

Just in time for Mother’s Day are a fab collection of makeup bags. We especially loved the fold-over clutch in blue with the metallic trim, and the cute baguette in the pink print. Both are under $15. Treat yourself or Mom to a fabulous set of travel makeup brushes in a sexy silver case. The brush quality is excellent - and I am picky.

Pack her bag with a pout.

At prices like these, don’t give an empty bag. Stuff it with a fabulous lip gloss or two. Sonia Kashuk’s Lip Glossing/No Feather Pencil is also brilliant. In lovely iridescent soft colours; the pencil is perfectly matched to the gloss for very subtle definition.  Alas, Target is not in Canada yet, but it is one of the better reasons for a cross-border shopping trip.

Olay Total Effects Revitalizing Foaming Cleanser is a perfect one-step solution for anyone who wants gentle cleansing and an anti-aging formula at a great price. This one-step cleanser is gentle enough to take off even eye makeup. It’s also full of great anti-aging ingredients.  After lathering up, leave it on for 30 seconds to dissolve grime and get the full benefits, before you send it all down the drain.

Must read

Sacred Trust by Dr. Phyllis Hollenbeck, MD is a searingly honest book by a female family physician who knows what it feels like to have been a doctor, patient, and family member in times of serious illness. Dr. Hollenbeck shares stories of some of the grossly-incompetent behavior she has witnessed in her own practice by fellow doctors. She doesn’t make excuses, but gives practical advice on what to look for and how to avoid possibly deadly mistakes and situations.

This book might make patients more demanding. But it may also make them more intelligent in how they choose and deal with their doctors. Dr. Hollenbeck’s website is  hollenbeckmd.com

San Francisco and Sonoma

salad inspirations and more

I had no sooner finished reading Chef Charlie Ayers’ wonderful new cook book Food 2.0 in which he admits he to liking ketchup. I love it and think it is a much underrated sauce. He also mentioned the new organic ketchups that are on the market. So I was intrigued when a bottle of Wholemato Cocktail Sauce showed up.

This organic agave ketchup gets its spice and heat from jalapeños. It’s also certified as low-glycemic for diabetics. I have to recommend the original version for those not looking to heat things up. Either way, this grown-up gourmet condiment has earned a place in my pantry.

A quick word about Charlie Ayers’ Food 2.0, Secrets from the Chef who Fed Google: I couldn’t’ put it down. I love this type of book. It has as many hints and tips as it does actual recipes. He also has fabulous suggestions for stocking a panty.  It’s the perfect gift for a young singleton - male or female. 

This week’s recipe from Charlie is from the walnut tour in Sonoma. I couldn’t resist it.  A few tips Charlie mentioned while he was cooking: French feta is super creamy and easy to roll. You can make the cheese rounds and reduce the vinegar ahead. Try this. It is gorgeous!

Walnut and Feta Ensemble

Ingredients, to serve four:

3/4 cup (4 oz.) crumbled feta cheese

2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme, or 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

Low-fat milk, if needed

1/2 cup California walnuts, toasted & finely chopped

3 oz. thinly sliced pancetta

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

1 - 2 tablespoons olive oil

For assembling the salads

3 - 4 large handfuls (6 - 7 cups) mache lettuce, or mixed greens

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives

salt and pepper to taste

In a small bowl, blend the feta cheese and thyme.  If the feta is too crumbly to hold together, beat in a teaspoon or two of milk.  Shape the feta into eight disks, about 1 1/2 inches across.  Roll them in walnuts, pressing gently so the nuts adhere and the disks are coated on all sides.  Place on a plate and set in the freezer for about 30 minutes. 

In a skillet, cook the pancetta for 5 - 7 minutes, turning and stirring the slices often, until lightly browned.  Transfer to paper towels to drain, leaving any rendered fat in the skillet.  As the pancetta cools, it will become crisp.  Crumble the slices coarsely. 

Section the orange segments by using a sharp knife to slice the peel from the oranges cutting deeply enough to remove the white skin and membrane; then carefully cut the orange flesh from between each segment. 

In a small non-stick skillet, boil the balsamic vinegar until it has reduced to about 1/4 cup.  Watch it like a hawk; this happens quickly.  Pour the reduced vinegar into a small cup and set aside.  

Film a nonstick skillet with the olive oil and place over medium-high heat.  When the pan is hot, cook the walnut-coated feta disks about 2 minutes on each side, to brown them lightly.  Transfer to a plate. 

To assemble the salads, you will need four large plates, preferably rectangular or oblong, although round dinner plates will work, too. 

In a large bowl toss the mache with the olive oil and chives, and season with salt and pepper to taste.  Divide the greens among the plates, placing them to one side.  Divide the crumbled pancetta among the plates, placing it in the center.  Top the pancetta with the orange sections.  Place two walnut feta disks on the other side of the plate.  Drizzle a tablespoon of reduced balsamic vinegar over each plate.

As you start to think about Mother’s Day as either a mother or daughter – or both – remember that especially today, time and thoughtfulness are the best gifts of all. If there is a sibling issue, don’t let any foolish disagreements or rivalries distract from the celebration; call on the Sunday and plan a treat for later. Start planning now to not let anything ruin your day. As time becomes scarce and the world and conditions leave us all more scattered physically and emotionally, learning to plan well and embrace spontaneity simultaneously is one of the secrets of a sweet life.

So my darlings, I hope each and every one of you had a week full of good friends, sparkling inspirations, and sweet moments. Until next week, please sign-up if you haven’t already - DolceDolceis free. And please forward us to all your friends.