1. Lady be safe and savvy.


    A lot has changed since Helen wrote "sex",but  you still don't call a guy to get him to chase youDarlings, we all worry selectively. I do it myself. Some of use worry obsessively about a particular disease that runs in our family, then blithely text or talk on while driving. Others are financially carefully, but date bad men – really bad men. Some women are sexually sensible, but seriously in debt from frivolous spending before they are 40 – or have no savings at 50. Darlings, none of us is perfect, but it is time to be safe and be wise. Life can be sweet, but you have to be savvy.

     
    If you recognized yourself above, and who doesn’t – a little — don’t beat yourself up. Just realize that things have to change.
     
    You are probably sick to death hearing about the dangers of driving and texting or talking on the phone, unless someone has just almost killed you as they chatted and zoomed by. Unless you live under a rock you have already seen the great video on YouTube. It has discouraged some of my diehard texting and driving friends.
     
    The craziness that goes on with phones is almost beyond comprehension. Recently on road trip, I even saw a man driving with an infant his arms. He was not alone. How insane is that? We saw numerous drivers chatting and texting at over 80 miles an hour.  Insane. If you text while driving, please just stop.  It’s dangerous. Pull over to text or call – or better yet wait until you arrive at your destination. I know some of you claim you manage hands-free driving and talking without incident, but statistics say it is distracting. Please use care.
     
    Darling, texting and talking while driving are not the only danger from mobile phone abuse. The crime rates are soaring. Use common sense to avoid being sad statistic. No one likes the crowds or noise of city commuting, but closing yourself in a cell phone or iPod bubble makes you a target for assault, robbery, and pickpockets. Be alert when you are in public. Be aware of your surroundings. Stay away from dark allays and deserted buildings – there are more of them every day. Look under and around parked cars as you approach them. Make sure cabs are licensed and get a good look at driver before you hop in.
     
    Walk with confidence. Studies show that assailants favour targets who look meek or distracted. Wear shoes and clothes that let move you quickly. Always carry your phone. Do not wear head phones and look clueless as you walk through city streets. Don’t be too proud to have someone walk you to your car at night. Be sure you know the walker.
     
    Be aware, you may hurt yourself by talking on a mobile phone while walking. A recent study at WesternWashingtonUniversity says pedestrians on their phones are slower, change direction more, and have a tougher time navigating through traffic compared to people listening to their MP3 players or even talking with a friend walking alongside them.
     
    If you worry about getting sick from diseases that run in your family, or if you’re a bit of a hypochondriac, change your habits. Experts tell us that a healthy diet and exercise are effective deterrents to many serious diseases. It is not a guarantee. Many healthy people get sick, but they get well too. So make an appointment with your doctor, and have a chat to put your mind at ease. A positive attitude, healthy lifestyle, and supportive doctor will help to set you free to enjoy life.
     
    If you’re financially out of control, don’t make excuses. It doesn’t matter what you earn; you have to start some where to get ahead. Check out www.suzeorman.com  or http://www.jeanchatzky.com  website. They give great advice.
     
    I am constantly surprised by the number of smart women who are successful in their careers, but disasters when it comes to their personal finances. It is a dirty little secret many women share. Being a ditz about money is dangerous for your future. It can have all kinds of consequences. I know a successful attorney whose marriage almost fell through. Her fiancé, a successful entrepreneur horrified by her level of debt, demanded she cut up her credit cards on the eve of their wedding or he would not marry her. They have been happily married for more than 20 years. At the time I was shocked; now I see his point. I should mention he did not control or abuse her, and she had funds. He simply wanted to stem the stupendous debt that he took on marrying. She is not unusual.
     
    If a taste for bad men is your downfall, you should know while there may be no cure for love, you will never reform anyone with love either. If you habitually fall for men who treat you badly, I suggest you take yourself off the market for a while. Use that time to be around people with good, positive relationships. Learn to make yourself happy. Trust me darlings, happy women are not attracted to bad men – lonely women are. Vital, happy women find men who treat them badly a big bore.
     
     
    If you can’t attract the men you want then take look a your “package”. Helen Gurley Brown, the founding editor of Cosmopolitan magazine and author of Sex and the Single Girl used to say that and she is an expert. By package she meant your looks, image, personality, and status. If that sounds harsh, let’s be fair. Isn’t that what we all look at, before the chemistry and love set in?
     
    When you are looking for love or — more seriously — a mate, you want to be as fabulous as you can be. It’s common sense. You put your best self out there on the market. Then my darlings, when you find a man you want, play a little hard to get. Don’t call him, text him, or haunt his hangouts like Topper. Don’t answer your phone after 7:30 in the evening. If he calls, don’t be too available. Popular girls need at least two or three days notice for dates.
     
    You should be busy, elusive, and happy with your own life and career. Note, I did not say you should be a *itch. Not too many men really like a mean high-maintenance woman after a while. Just don’t act like a desperate needy woman sitting by her phone with a copy of Modern Bride — or worse a baby catalog. That’s what sends them running for cover. Doesn’t neediness freak you out too? 
     
    Most men are more romantic than you think. They like to pursue and win the queen, so be the queen.  
     
    I know I make it sound simple, but you would be surprised at how a little playing hard-to-get can up your game in the love department – especially if you are looking fabulous and feeling happy with your life.
     
    Is it a foolproof formula for success? Darlings, nothing is foolproof, but chance and love favour the prepared. You may not be looking for love, and that is fine too. Using common sense, staying safe, and learning to relax are all part of having a sweet life.
     
     
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