Mind Candy

Manti Te’o, the promising football player from Notre Dame, was the apparent victim of a “Catfishing” hoax. A young man who was recently interviewed on The Dr. Phil Show claimed to have perpetrated the hoax. His reason, he told Dr. Phil, was that he was in love with Manti Te’o.

The expression, “catfishing,” comes from the 2010 documentary film by Nev Schulman called Catfish. It chronicled his own experience being deceived by an online relationship with a woman named “Megan.” She approached Schulman on the web, they began “chat,” and she sent him a painting. She tells him she is a young artist and even provides pictures showing her to be a pretty, blonde. When Schulman and his friends decide to visit Megan they discover she does not exist. She is the creation of a middle-aged woman with many problems who targets people for fantasy relationships.

According to Dr. Phil and other experts “catfishing” and other types of relationship fraud is on the rise. Catfish is now a popular MTV show starring Schulman. Often victims are emotionally devastated or even defrauded of large sums of money.

Learn to protect yourself from relationship fraud with these tips from Experian’s ProtectMyID identity theft detection, protection and fraud resolution experts.

Stay mysterious at first. Don’t disclose personally identifiable information with a prospective dating match until there is an established level of familiarity and trust. This includes your hometown, home addresses, work specifics, phone numbers, educational background and information about children via profiles and through photo identification.

Limit profile detail. Avoid posting personally identifiable information on your online dating profiles, including but not limited to hometown, home addresses, work specifics, phone numbers, educational background and information about children via profiles and through photo identification.

Play detective. Don’t assume that a prospective dating match will always be truthful. Ask a person to tell you about himself or herself; you then can conduct a little background work on sites like LinkedIn, Facebook or Google to see if conflicting information exists. Also, be wary of any requests for financial loans or assistance of any kind.

Create the perfect password. For online dating profiles, do not use passwords that incorporate publicly known information.

www.protectmyid.com

Watch a sensual film like Chocolat and then let it inspire your creativity!

Creativity opens up another dimension of your personality and abilities. It shouldn’t have to be something reserved for top chefs, designers, or artists.

Research shows we solve all problems better and faster when we engage in creative pursuits. The mind is nimble. The better versed a person is in a variety of subjects, the wider the knowledge base to draw from when solving complex problems – not to mention all the stress-busting benefits. The ancient Greeks were proponents of the well-rounded man and woman, as were the thinkers of the Renaissance.

Cultivating your creativity doesn’t have to be restricted to the arts or crafts. If you don’t sew, paint, throw pots, or cook, apply your inner artist to something else that interests you.

If you enjoy entertaining there are many interesting books on the art of the table. Colin Cowie's Chic or Effortless Elegance contain simple and elegant table decor and lots of other tips. There are countless books on this fascinating subject, not to mention ideas from catalogs from elegant shops such as Ashley’s, Tiffany’s and others. Setting a lovely table from casual to elegant can be a study in self, just ask Martha Stewart.

If you are a budding fashionista with big taste and tiny budget, learning how to care for your clothes, developing an encyclopedic knowledge of fabrics, and even learning how to do simple repairs are great investments in time. Recently, a friend took a sewing course. She has n she has already made a few items from her home and is ready to try her hand at making clothing.

Even planning a trip can be creative. It never ceases to amaze me how many people moan about wanting to travel and yet they know little about the places they want to visit. Exercise your creativity by planning a summer trip to the south of France with cooking classes, if Provencal food is your soul food. It may take months or even years to actually make the trip, but why not sink into the experience in the meantime.

Put together a wonderful reading list of marvelous old books; think Hemingway, the Murphy’s, Edith Wharton, Henry Miller. There was a fascinating mix of expat literati and painters who fled to Europe in the 1920s. If Paris and Costa Brava have captured your imagination, books from this period will make these places come alive. Or maybe you are just back, and want to keep something of that wonderful European rhythm and spirit in your life; these tales can bring them alive. The best thing about visiting Europe is all the same old haunts are still there. Trace the steps of those who went before you and immerse yourself.

If you are a woman who yawns at the past, try Trail of Crumbs by Kim Sunee or a collection of short stories by Andrea Lee called An Interesting Woman.

You may prefer cookbooks, buy one by Claudia Rodin. Devour her intoxicating combinations and recipes.

Perhaps you find inspiration in art books and DVDs. Immerse yourself and enjoy! If you find reading a chore, try renting atmospheric French films like the sensual Chocolat with Juliette Binoche or Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Before and during a special trip or occasion collect old pictures, menu cards, maps, and books. Scan and copy the sections of books that work best for you. Put together your very own beautiful book. Cover an album with stunning fabric or Japanese paper and add beautiful ribbon markers. If you are a practical, techy type, scan it all and dump it into a device. Find your own style, but the collection process is the same.

I love books and folders for projects such as cooking, design, and just about anything else, although when it comes to cooking, I am plain and practical. I have a huge collection of gorgeous and beloved cookbooks. I also print scores of recipes – my own and others – off the computer. I stash them all in loose-leaf books. I keep copies in the computer as they get very dirty in my kitchen and need constant replacement. It is a messy place of creativity and inspiration. I wouldn’t have it any other way! Inspiration comes from many places: books, magazines, photographs and even from quick scribbles and doodles. All these things contribute to a finely-honed point of view.

It’s all part of letting ideas and images sink in and become part of you, as opposed to just letting them just flow over the surface. It’s taking time to explore the arts you enjoy.

So many women tell me they used to paint or would like to again. Sadly, they plan to wait until they retire to start again. Darlings, we are all busy. But the benefits of being creative, physically as well spiritually, are so great. Can any of us afford not to exercise our creative instincts?

Maybe this sounds like work to you. If it does, it shouldn’t. I am talking about finding what is interesting and pleasurable, and getting the good out of it.

Darlings, life is short, so make it rich and delicious.

Marilyn’s mystique

Marilyn Monroe was her own creation, a powerful illusion of sex and glamour with a touch of innocence. Decades after her death, and in age when celebrities vie to be uber thin, the voluptuous, womanly Marilyn remains the ultimate screen sex goddess.

Young actresses try to recreate her allure. Even Madonna shot to fame vamping as Marilyn, as she sang Material Girl in a copy of Monroe’s signature pink gown from the show-stopping number Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend.

Scholars have tried to analyze Marilyn. There are volumes detailing her transformation from pretty brunette to blonde bombshell.

But no one was more instrumental in helping to develop Marilyn’s signature style than designer William Travilla. He created not only her fabulous gown in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, but also the famous white dress that blew up over her hips in The Seven Year Itch, and many sexy red carpet gowns.

In Dressing Marilyn: How a Hollywood Icon Was Styled by William Travilla, I was fascinated to learn the story behind that famous pink gown. This fabulous book by Andrew Hansford and Karen Homer is full of sketches, photos, and anecdotes about the clothes that were an intrinsic part of Marilyn’s mystique.

Would you be surprised to learn that it was designed to conceal Marilyn’s body – not show it off? Look carefully and you will notice that this sexy dress has no cleavage or thigh-high slits. The reason? The movie studio had spent a fortune on Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, but was not happy that nude photos of their star surfaced as the movie was being made. So, they ordered Travilla to play down Marilyn’s body. The details of this story are true Hollywood drama!

As for the famous blowing white dress, you may be interested to know that copies never look quite right because the original was pleated in a special way, using one of Travilla’s special techniques.

Dressing Marilyn: How a Hollywood Icon Was Styled by William Travilla is a must-read for all Marilyn fans and die-hard fashionistas.

But clothes were not the only weapon in Marilyn’s image arsenal. According to legendary makeup and hair style guru, the late George Masters, Marilyn had amazing body control. Masters credited her with the ability to shine for the camera and seduce it. In his book, The Masters Way to Beauty, he gave directions on how to develop similar “star-like” body control.

“You start by pretending that you're naked with forty imaginary cameras shooting you from every possible angle — up, down, front, back, sideways– on your cheekbones, chinbone, nose, neckline, shoulder line, hipline, bosoms, stomach, thighs, arms, and legs, all over, anywhere and everywhere ,” he wrote. “It's a trick you can practice anywhere, even out in public.”

So much has been said about Marilyn’s difficulties with men, drugs, and tardiness, that it is easy to forget the discipline that went into “Marilyn’s mystique.” She was not athletic, but she exercised to keep her curves in check. She ran when she was a young starlet and later used free weights. It is no secret that her weight fluctuated and she had to diet, but at the time of her death, Marilyn was positively svelte. She had dieted for her last film, Something Has to Give. During the shoot, she slipped into a swimming pool nude for a scene. In recently-released photos of these moments, she looks stunning.

Marilyn took ice baths. She also plunged her face into ice to tighten it, and she spent hours with her skin slathered in various anti-aging creams. She favoured lotions and potions from Hungarian skin guru Erno Laszlo, hormone crème, and products by Anna of Denmark.

Marilyn sought out the best makeup men and hair stylists, but she was a beauty expert herself who knew what she wanted. She loved glamour and reveled in her femininity in spite of the insecurities that plagued her. Marilyn worked at being Marilyn, and the results were mesmerizing.

If you want to develop your own mystique here are a few notes from MM’s script:

Be original

There is only one Marilyn. Too often women are held back by worrying about their friends’s opinions. Develop your own sense of style and be confident. If you need a second opinion, ask an older mentor or professional. Look for someone who is not competing with you on any level or trying to sell you anything.

“I used to think as I looked at the Hollywood night, there must be thousands of girls sitting alone like me, dreaming of becoming a movie star,” MM once said. “But I'm not going to worry about them. I'm dreaming the hardest.”

Never stop believing in yourself.

Be disciplined

Beauty and glamour require work. So work out, eat healthfully, and be organized. Forget nit-picking yourself to pieces; instead, make the most of your assets. Mystique takes time to cultivate. You need time to get yourself together every day. Get up early enough to leave the house looking fabulous.

Set aside time in the evening to renew and care for your face and body. Develop good beauty and exercise routines and stick to them. You will see results. Join a gym or get a trainer. Marilyn preferred private instruction, even when she was a struggling starlet.

Dress to look fabulous

Never wear anything that make you look less than great. Marilyn owned very few clothes for many years, but what she did have made her look fabulous. When she died she had closets of flattering designer clothes. She was buried in her favourite lime green Pucci dress. She had three identical copies of it.

Be open and inspired

Marilyn never stopped learning. She read reams. Her library included everything from great books to modern psychology. She sought out teacher and trainers to help her improve her craft. Part of Marilyn’s mystique was her open mind and marvelous sense of humor.

Darlings, emulating Marilyn Monroe may seem like a tall order. But if you want to cultivate mystique, learn from the best. Marilyn did.

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Real Housewife Ramona Singer is a real business maven. She says you need to sey aside time daily to get projects of the ground.

Summer is a fabulous time to make a change, break a habit or start a new project.

According to experts, most people feel more energetic and alive in the summer months.

Days are longer making it easier to squeeze in another activity after work or dinner.

Is there something that you would like to achieve? Maybe you’d like to

lose a few pounds and learn a new skill – or, maybe you have a bigger dream?

Get started, and jump right in. If you are intimidated, start small.

Experts say that it takes 30 days to break a habit and the same time form a new one. And it is easier to give up bad behaviour if you replace with something new that you enjoy.

Fitness, dieting, or learning new things is easier and more effective with help. So find a class or a teacher. A daily class or meeting with councilor is good as it forces you to set aside time to go. Also, remember, you don’t owe anyone information about how you spend your time. If you feel silly telling friends or colleagues that you can’t meet with them when you have your class or meeting for your weight loss or music lesson, all you need to say is: “Can we make it another time? I have an appointment”. You owe explanations to no one but an employer, if you are company time. Soon, everyone will understand you are not available at that time and leave you alone. Trust me darlings, it works! And it is empowering!

In her popular The Artist's Way books, writer Julia Cameron dictates the importance adhering to a daily routine and setting aside time to work. She assigns her students “morning pages” or journaling upon awaking to capture creativity of their awaking minds.

Recently Donny Deutsch, the former host of The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch and the chairman of Deutsch Inc. a major Madison Avenue adverting company, encouraged Today Show viewers who wanted to start a new business to “just get started”. He told them to find something they had a passion and to go for it. Deutsch, however, cautioned fledgling entrepreneurs not to quit their day jobs right away. He advised viewers to start small and test their ideas.

Real Housewife of New York, Ramona Singer might be too over the top for some, but she is a crack business woman who founded her own multi-million dollar fashion business by age 29. Singer’s business savvy is not exaggerated for the cameras; she is the real deal. She recently advised fellow housewife Sonja Morgan to spend three hours every day working in her new entertaining business.

Darlings, almost all of have something we really want to do or change. Fear or even just a lack of organization holds us back. So start small and change one thing.

You may want to lose some weight, get fit, start a business, and learn to play the piano, or even get some quiet time into your life. Learn to make a date with yourself every day to work on dreams – and keep it.

Harlan Cohen, the author of the bestselling handbook about surviving university, The Naked Roommate, now takes on subject of dating and falling in love. Cohen provides a guide to the delicate and often maddening business of finding love in his new book Getting Naked. Here are just a few of his tips on navigating modern romance.

1. Embrace "The Secret Truth: The Universal Rejection Truth" (of dating and relationships) says thousands of people will want us, and thousands will not. The moment we can give people permission to not always want us, is the moment we will have the confidence to find the people who do.

2. Train (preferably in a thong): It's time to put on our "physical and emotional thong" and look in the mirror. Make a commitment to changing the things we don't love about ourselves and working to love the things we can't change.　 Surround ourselves with people who want us to be happy and want us to be loved.

3. Stop Making Excuses: Look at all the reasons you stopped taking risks in the past and use excuses to find answers. 　Stop pretending you’re too busy.　 Stop finding reasons not to take a risk and tell a friend you want more.　 Stop waiting for people to find you and go after what you want and deserve.　　

4. Take the risk: Opportunities are everywhere at work, on planes, on trains, in class, online, and in everywhere we live our daily lives. Harlan shares the stories of how　people took the risk and found love

5.　Celebrate, Reflect, and Repeat: 　Whether you find love or someone, who just isn’t that into you celebrate that, you took the risk.　 Then reflect (in your thong) and turn to the people closest to you for support and guidance. Decide if you should take the same risk again or take a new one.　 Just keep moving forward and you will find it!

Do you ever feel that you come on too strong? Or, perhaps you have a dear friend who is just a bit too pushy. It could be that some one’s "Alpha Bitch" is out of control!

Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to Be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!) by Rebecca Grado and Christy Whitman may be just the book you need to get a handle on all the difficult Alpha women in your life – including yourself.

Grado is an experienced psychotherapist, and Whitman is a certified "Law of Attraction" life coach. The book leans heavily on the principles found in the popular book and film, The Law of Attraction. It offers strategies for dealing with negative behavior. The authors have also included numerous quizzes that can help readers pinpoint self-sabotaging Alpha Bitch behavior. Taming Your Alpha Bitch is a quick read that offers practical tips.

Here is some advice from the authors:

You may not realize it, but the habits and attitudes that have helped you achieve success to date, may be holding you back from creating your greatest desires — including your ideal body.

Most women today believe that to get ahead they have to have a tough, forceful, nose-to-the-grindstone approach to life. In addition, while there may be some outer gains to these hyper-intense ways, the reality is that this constant state of pressure wreaks havoc on our bodies.

Being, what the authors affectionately refer to as an Alpha Bitch puts us in a constant state of stress, and this can actually lead to weight gain. How? When the constant, crazy demands we put on ourselves stress us out, and our cortisol levels rise, slowing our metabolisms. As if slow metabolisms aren’t bad enough, when we feel depleted, anxious, or overwhelmed (the typical feelings that arise from an Alpha Bitch attitude) many of us seek fatty or sugary foods for energy. Instead of eating foods that nourish our bodies, our negative emotions prompt us to reach out for "comfort foods" to ease the pain.

What most women do not realize is that the underlying beliefs that drive the Alpha-Bitch behaviors are not based in confidence or self-assuredness, but rather insecurity and insufficiency. These underlying beliefs — that there is not enough, or that we are not enough – lead us to push ourselves to extremes, creating undue stress on our bodies.

Living from the mindset of the Alpha Bitch, takes us away from our true source of power, and ultimately determines the results we reap, including the health and weight of our bodies.

Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!) will show you how to create a life filled with balance, abundance, and well-being. It will help you achieve the success, happiness, and fulfillment you seek.

www.alphabitchbook.com

A young and very glam Kitty Carlisle If you are 30 or younger, you may never have heard of the late Kitty Carlisle. She was a singer and a minor movie star, and later she became a fixture on TV game shows. A well-known hostess, philanthropist, and spokesperson for the arts, she was one of the last true Grande Dames.

I think of Kitty Carlisle often. Her style and the daily ritual that kept her young and vibrant for so long fascinate me. She began every morning with floor exercises to keep her body supple, and then would study her reflection in a mirror and say, “Kitty, I forgive you.”

The exercises took eight minutes and, according to Marie Brenner in her book, Great Dames, left Kitty Carlisle’s legs looking flawless, even in her later years. Kitty told Brenner she learned the workouts from the great dancer Martha Graham in the 1950s.

However, what intrigued me the most was that morning forgiveness ritual. What a great idea to start the day with a clean slate of forgiveness! It made me wonder how many of us are weighed down by the small failings and disappointments we carry day to day. They make us feel tired, defeated, and judgmental — before we even get out of bed.

Isn’t better to begin fresh each day, to really forgive yourself and get on with your day with vigor and commitment. I think so.

Kitty Carlisle was a charmer with delightful manners. She really knew how to focus on others and make them feel special as she garnered support for her projects.

Kitty Carlisle remained vigorous, slim and attractive well past 80. She had a great career, raised two children, and contributed to many philanthropic endeavors.

So this year why not take leaf out of Kitty Carlisle’s book and see if her routine works for you:

Make exercise a part of your life

If you are not fortunate enough to know a great dancer like Martha Graham, hire a good trainer or take a class. Try yoga or Pilates. Get a whole body routine that will carry through life.

Cultivate good manners and charm

Be sincerely interested in others. Be considerate and be on time. Respond. Reach out. Smile. Learn to pay sincere compliments. Say please and thank you; a little politesse goes a long way to smooth out life’s rough edges.

Forgive yourself

This doesn’t mean are blowing off your bad behaviour or failures. But, you are accepting yourself and treating yourself with compassion and love. Practice compassion daily and extend it to others. The world is a harsh place.

The world loves a royal wedding – and even more, when the bride is a commoner. Jerramy Fine was a young American girl who dreamed of marrying a prince. She moved to England and set about meeting one. She finally married her “prince,” who is not a royal, but does live in London.

Bright Young Royals: Your Guide to the Next Generation of Blue Bloods is her primer on meeting and marrying a royal. Jerramy did not marry a prince, but she did break into British high society. The book includes photos of Europe’s single young royals, as well as information on where to meet them and other tips.

We asked Jerramy to give DolceDolce readers our own guide to the “royal life.”

Top Tips for Mixing and Mingling with Royals

by Jerramy Fine

· Always be polite. Getting your foot in the royal door is not easy, so be prepared to punch your way in! Once you’re there, be sure to dress appropriately, to smile demurely, and to say as a little as possible. (Check out the ball scene in the movie My Fair Lady for more details.)

· Remember that royal protocol varies greatly according to the formality of the setting. (Meeting Prince Harry at a charity reception is very different from meeting him in a nightclub!) When it comes to the younger royals, sometimes too much deference can cause embarrassment and draw unwanted attention. So when in doubt, stay calm, be as discrete as possible, and take the lead from his friends.

· Watch your language. When in England, never say “toilet,” “couch,” or “lounge.” (These words belong in Guy Ritchie movies, not Hugh Grant films.)

· Ignore fashion trends and stick with the classics. (Skinny jeans belong on Kate Moss not on Kate Middleton.) Instead, learn to love cashmere and tweed.

· Buy a copy of Debrett’s A to Z of Modern Manners, and study your etiquette.Table manners can make or break your social standing, so memorize the proper way to eat peas and the correct direction to pass the port. (Editor’s Note: Debrett’s, the British authority on etiquette, publishes a full range of helpful primers. Check out more at www.debretts.com)

· Forget soccer and football. If you want to rub shoulders with royals, fill your days with rugby and polo matches.

· Do good. Royalty is not just about ball gowns and gemstones, palaces and pageantry. It is about looking beyond yourself in every situation, putting your duty to the nation before any personal desires, and using your position toward the greater good. So choose a charity that’s close to your heart and start volunteering!

· Above all, have confidence and believe in yourself. If you carry yourself with the grace and dignity of a princess, you have every right to move in regal circles. http://www.amazon.com/Bright-Young-Royals-Generation-Bloods/dp/0425246876

Young and stylish --Emma Watson pens her thanks. Historically, all the best people have written thank you notes. Jackie O was known for hers. Grace Kelly wrote charming notes. Marilyn had a habit of scribbling hers on 8×10 glossies. According to a recent article in Harper’s Bazaar, Emma Watson, Claudia Schiffer, and Lisa Eisen also pen notes of thanks. Real royalty always write thank yous — many in their own hand. We hear Oprah even has her notes custom-designed.

Email has forever changed how we write thank you notes. It’s not a bad thing. Purists shudder, but l love the immediacy of the e-medium. There is a certain charm to having bought a lunch or done a deed, and returning home to find a thoughtful email heaping with heartfelt emotion.

Today many people feel a spoken thank you will do. But believe me, darlings, nothing does it like a note. Notes say I care, you wowed me. But it’s funny that so many people who write thank you notes by rote for business, never think to send one to a friend or loved one. Notes are simple, elegant gestures at a time when “style” often vacillates between careless neglect and wretched excess — and when money and power may be mistaken for taste and manners.

Think about an email whizzing across the continent in response to precious gifts just arrived via courier, or hand-carried in an acquaintance’s suitcase from faraway loved ones; email can be charming. Digital photos and elegant fonts can elevate an electronic “note” to ascetic heights beyond a commercial greeting.

I do still adore my pens and paper. A Mont Blanc pen, emerald ink, boxes of Smythsons or Cranes correspondence cards and even a bit of sealing wax, and I am in heaven. Beautiful art cards and reproductions work for me too. It’s all about sending something fabulous — emotionally and visually.

For special occasions or holidays I like to print or affix a special photo directly to a creamy correspondence card. Our own Karin Pacione is a master of this art. Fun and easy, it makes for a very personal keepsake of the occasion or gift. You can find everything you need at www.bulkcardsandenvelopes.com and www.spaark.com. You can also check out companies such as http://www.tinyprints.com/personalized-stationery.htm?gclid=CIClmLj-x6sCFZFV7Aod7S0H6Q

Thank you notes should be thoughtful, thankful, and detailed – but that doesn’t men you have to or even should pen an epic. If it’s for a just gift say why you love it. Notes for a party or a dinner should mention details that you noticed and adored.

I’m sure there is something special to say. After all, aren’t your friends and family wonderful, unique, and special? Can you ever tell them too often? I don’t think so.

The best thank you notes are written hot — in the heat of the moment. Keep your supplies ready and just do it. Send one today. You must be thankful to someone in your life! If you have children, teach them to do it too. It’s an act of elegance and authenticity in an increasingly fragile and careless world.

A friend learned Chinese well enough to introduce her speech. Darlings, finding just an hour a day or a few hours a week can change your life.

Everyone needs a little time to relax every day, but if all you do is collapse in front of a “screen,” it is time to consider whether life is all you want it to be.

Get inspired:

What do you want to do? Would you like to exercise more, learn to cook, have a tidier home, or write a blog or book? Maybe you want to learn a sport or a new language?

Recently, a friend decided to teach herself to sew. It took her a few months to complete a fairly complicated dress, but now she is ready to begin another. It’s a rewarding hobby, but what she learned will also help her in her design business. Shows like Project Runway inspired her, although she had already successfully launched her business.

Have you always wanted to play a musical instrument, or maybe take up one again that you played as a child. Stop making excuses. Used instruments and lessons are affordable. You might have to settle for group lessons or just few private lessons. If time and money are really tight, you can learn almost anything these days online or from YouTube. (I leaned to fix my own garbage disposal and few other things from handy-man blogs!) A music-loving friend finally bought the piano of her dreams. She was well over 60 at the time. Years later, she is still studying and playing music. It brings her joy.

So, get inspired. Take the time to find out what you are good at and what makes your heart sing.

Get organized:

I have seen a lack of organization bring down many a good woman. Darlings, you don’t need to strive for Martha Stewart-like perfection, if that is not your style. But if you are drowning in junk you will spend too much time looking for stuff and feeling badly about your mess.

Do you put off creative and fun projects because you feel you should be cleaning your house instead, and end up doing neither?

I find an hour a day --five days a weeks-- for my Exhale work out. Below are Fred DeVito and Lis Halfpapp creators of the workout!

Getting organized is easier than you think:

· Learn to put things away as soon as you are done with them;

· Never leave dishes in the sink or laundry on the floor. It takes only minutes to clear up a small mess, but mountains of dirty things are soul-crushing;

· Keep cleaning supplies under every counter in your bathrooms and kitchen. Give the rooms a five-minute wipe-down daily — first thing in the morning is best. If you do a good job, you may never need to really scrub a bathroom again; it will stay clean. Teach children as soon as they are old enough to do the same. You will all be amazed at how much cleaning you can do in five minutes;

· Take 30 minutes a day to keep your house clean. Quickly clear up any clutter. Dust anything that strikes your eye. Mop a dirty floor. Change sheets and towels. Again, you will be amazed at how 30 minutes a day of focused tidying keeps a house looking fabulous, and frees you from tedious chores on the weekend;

· Darlings, no one loves housework. Even those of us with clean houses like the results more than the day-to-day grind. Invest in labour-saving devices, or get help, but know that you will still have to work a little bit daily to maintain your state of domestic bliss. A cleaner once a week or — worse — every two weeks won’t do it. The best cleaner can’t undo a week of neglect and mess in a few hours;

· Buy wipes, even if they are pricy, if they get you to wipe your bath and counters;

· Invest in a Swiffer or lightweight electric broom. Keep it handy to run over floors in 10-minute dirt and dust attacks. Forget about dragging out a heavy vacuum. That is a recipe for disaster, if you hate cleaning already;

· Get a robot! This year I bought a Roomba vacuum. I love it. It is almost effortless (you do need it clean it) and efficient. It vacuums under the furniture, and dusts baseboards, all as I work or relax. I run it constantly and my floors are so clean! It is quiet, plus the Roomba (my husband has nicknamed ‘him’ Ivan Botsky) never wants a day off!

These things may seem trivial and demeaning, but darlings it is hard to be glamorous when your home is a big a mess. So stop fighting it and just get on with it. Forget perfection (I always have a drawer or shelf that needs attention) and get on with the day-to-day clearing up.It will free you up for more creative pursuits.

Get going!

Nothing will happen if you don’t make yourself a priority. While you are at it, teach your children to have interesting projects and to work independently at them.

So stop making excuses. I work out almost every day at 12:15 for an hour or more.

It is sacred time and I seldom miss it. I know exercise makes me feel better, look better, and enhances my life in every way. Everyone needs exercise –find something that makes your heart sing!

Even when time is tight, I work out vigorously for an hour and then get back to what needs to be done. I am lucky to be on my own schedule, but I also never miss a deadline. My class is full of dynamic women who manage to make it to class and back to work regularly. It can be done. Commit to yourself.

When I was a launch editor for Russian Vogue we had a break-neck schedule. I still found time to see my massage therapist once a week. With travel time, it took two hours, but it kept me healthy and energized. Often it meant passing up cocktails or some other less healthful, fun activity. It was worth it.

Another friend recently taught herself Italian using Rosetta Stone. She also planned a wedding during that time. This woman looks fabulous, has four grown children, recently recovered her own dining room chairs, and cares for two large properties –right down to hauling a truck full of mulch and spreading it.

Still another friend taught learned Chinese well enough to introduce her presentation in Beijing. She did this while running her own business and being very active in the community.

I could go on and on. I know hardworking women who have launched successful businesses while raising families and working at day jobs. They are attentive mothers and fabulous friends, but they know the value of an hour spent well.

Darlings, there will be times you feel overwhelmed. You may have a career that is taking off, or a new baby. Both can send you reeling for a while. So can less-happy events, such as sick parents, serious illness, or losing a job. That being said, if you never have time do the things you want or spend quality time with friends and family without fretting over work or chores, it is time for a change.

Finding an hour a day or few hours a week to focus on your dreams and goals can change your life.

An hour invested in you can be magic.