Lady be civil

"The Real Atlanta Housewives" pulling hair in the street. Who does this?Everyone has weighed in on the rudeness of public figures recently. The consensus is that it was inexcusable when Kayne West stole the spotlight from Taylor Swift at the Grammy Awards. The congressman who called the president a liar was a boor — no matter what your political beliefs. And no one appreciated Venus Williams’s crash-court behavior. They were clearly out of control, entitled, and obnoxious. But at the end of the day, let’s face it darlings, incivility has become a way of life and it is dragging us all down.

 
Raised voices, crude talk, bad manners, sloppy clothes, and pitching a fit have all become the stuff of daily life. Bosses think they have the right to demean employees and be unpleasant as long as they observe certain company-sanctioned rules and language. Men and women use the excuse of being stressed as an excuse for all types of unpleasant behavior — from bad driving, crude language, and fits of temper to downright surliness. Well darlings, we are all stressed sometimes. There is nothing new about it.
 
But I am pretty sure stress has not made going to the movies torture. When I was younger, teenagers usually talked and carried on in theatres and in restaurants; now it is often seniors. Their behavior is crazy. In the last month, we have had near riots at our local art house. At one showing, four senior adults insisted on talking loudly throughout the show. Later several people told them how rude they had been. They had no shame or remorse and took loud exception to being corrected. They did not have any medical impairment; they were just rude, truculent, and inconsiderate. Teenagers often text and talk through films and refuse to stop too.
 
Hostesses today often complain that guests refuse to RSVP promptly, even for special occasions. This is the height of incivility. The reasons for doing this range from waiting for a better invitation to carelessness. Both these excuses are so rude, they are beyond the pale. Darlings, it is inexcusable to ignore an invitation.
 
Recently, while dining with friends at a nice restaurant, we had our evening marred by group of mostly women who were so loud they were impossible to ignore. They obviously had too much to drink, they were shrill and vulgar, and they looked cheap and foolish. The women were only steps from their place of employment. They were lucky their bosses did not stop by. 
 
Recently, I was in a lovely hosiery boutique where I shop frequently. It is closing, a casualty of the recession. I felt badly for the women who work there. As I commiserated with them, a rude woman chimed in: “but think of the bargains you are getting, 50 percent off!” How insensitive can you get? These women are losing their jobs! I controlled myself and said to her, "but where will you shop when this lovely store is gone?" I did not want to up the level of incivility.
 
Many things have landed us in this hornet’s nest of bad behavior. I don’t think women working has contributed to it. I was brought up around women who worked and they were as tough on manners as the moms who stayed at home. I think sloppiness in dress slops over into manners. ‘Casual Friday’ has led to a lot of too-casual behavior.
 
Whatever the reasons, it has to stop — along with other bad behavior that has sunk us into our current morass. We all have a bad day sometimes; stress is real and it is a killer. But learn to manage it. Get help if it is bad. And try to change the bad situation in your life that is causing it. You deserve to live with dignity and light. Remember there are laws against openly-abusive bosses. You have recourse even in this economy.
 
For everyday stress, try to take a deep breath, or a walk, or do yoga, or talk to a friend. Count your blessings, and avoid drama! If you treat someone badly, apologize. Do it quickly, simply, and make it heartfelt. Write thank you notes. Move away quickly from bad people, or people who are bad for you. You don’t need a reason or an explanation – just go. My mentors taught me that no one likes drama, abuse, or nasty gossip. Keep your chit-chat fun, even if it is a bit gossipy. Steer clear of nasty. Relationships must be give and take, so help others to shine. It will make your light all the brighter.
 
Darlings, it sounds simple, but it is harder than it sounds. It makes life easier once you get it done. Drama queens suck the life out of you and give little back. Unnecessary drama often leads to rudeness. It’s really isn’t possible to be nice to everybody all the time. Someone may take advantage of you, but it is possible to be civil. Polite is good place to go when people want too much or are too nosy. A simple ‘I’ll have to let you know’ or ‘what an interesting question’ gets rid of the worst offenders.
 
I am not advocating Pollyannaish behavior, or fading into the corner with a polite smile. Far from it. I am all about ladies with verve, snap, and style. I encourage you to speak up, say your piece, and have a mind of your own, but do it with style. Be polite and always be lady.
 
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Not lost in translation,Masumi the japanese pop sensation

MasumiJapan has some wildly popular music stars that have also become famous overseas. They set styles and influence pop culture. Masumi hopes to be one of them.

 
Born to a well-know drummer in Niigata, Japan, Masumi has been making music since she was a toddler. She started playing piano at age four, and was giving concerts within two year. By the time she was a teenager, she had learned percussion and cello, and developed perfect pitch.
 
Masumi now lives in the U.S. She wants to become the first big Japanese cross-over pop star. The 25-year-old sings half in English and half in Japanese, and her work is reminiscent of Brittany Spear’s dance hits. Masumi shared her musical and style inspirations with DolceDolce. Enjoy this on window on Japanese pop culture and the next big hit trend.
 
DD: What inspires you when you perform?
M: The audience. When I’m walking to the stage, I focus on giving them all I can and getting back their energy.
 
DD: How did you develop your sense of style?
M: I tried many different styles. I just tried to find the style that fits on me. I was on a "fashion adventure" for a couple years. Then I found my own style and balance.   
 
DD: Who are your fashion and musical inspirations?
M: Janet Jackson, Aaliyah, and Double are my favorites. They are so cool and sexy and stylish. Their music and fashion statements are very hot. They are perfect for me.
 
DD: What are your favourite high-low brands/designers?
M: I like Emporio Armani, Guess, H&M and Aldo
 
DD: Why is style important?
M: Because it can show a person’s personality.
 
DD: How would you describe your own style?
M: I would describe my own style as simple, but glamorous. I like to wear the colors black, gray and purple. But I’m always wearing shiny accessories.
 
DD: What are your three fashion must-haves?
M: High-heels, gold accessories, something black. 
 
DD: What is the secret to your fitness routine?
M: I have no secret. I just do at least 30 squats each day. I try to walk 10 miles each week. I exercise with dumbbells everyday.     
 
DD: What are your favourite beauty must-haves?
M: Japanese face lotion and Camellia oil, because my skin is sensitive and dry. They work really well for me!!
 
DD: What is always in your hand-bag?
M: Honey lemon candy.
 
DD: What are three of your best fashion or beauty tips?
M: I try to sleep well — at least for eight hours a day — to enjoy my life, and to love myself. Those are my beauty tips.
 
DD: Where would you like to be in five years?
M: I would like to collaborate with musicians who I respect a lot, and write great songs with them.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Slinging Mud

Clean skin is my personal obsession. Unless you have severely dry skin, washing your face with soap and water once or twice a day will help to keep it hydrated, exfoliated, and beautiful. If you use a good cleanser and a clean wash cloth, it is also a safe and gentle way to exfoliate.

 
The new Olay Purifying Mud Lathering Cleanser works like a masque in the time it takes to wash your face, as it micro-cleans, removing dirt and impurities from deep in your skin’s surface. Even though it contains mud, which can often be drying, it leaves your face soft and moist. This is a fabulous cleanser for busy beauties who have no time to masque. www.olay.com    www.olay.ca
 
 
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The power of small changes

The Biggest Loser, Simple Swaps: 100 Easy Changes to Start Living a Healthier Lifestyle is my favourite ‘Biggest Loser’ book to date. It was written by Cheryl Foberg, RD with Melissa Robertson and the Biggest Loser Experts and Cast. I have met and interviewed Cheryl and her recipes among the tastiest I have seen. She is committed to healthful food, packed with flavour and nutrition.
 
The book is packed with easy to incorporate tips. It has something for everyone.
 
 
 
 

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Green with envy

Chanel JadeSparked by Chanel, the newest must-have colour is Jade.  Chanel’s new nail polish shades Jade and Jade Rose are so hot there have been waiting lists for them. Even Chanel didn’t expect the mania they created. They were made for the runway show, but when the models went mad for them and insiders demanded them, a trend was born. It’s perfect for this economy. According to the ancient wisdom of Feng Shui, jade brings good luck and offers protection too. Chanel’s Jade and Jade Rose is $25.

 
OPI GreenwichGiold your lids a glowy greenOPI Greenwich nail polish will have you seeing green too, at $8.
 
L’Oreal HiP eye shadow in Riotous is a trendy green hue that is surprisingly flattering.
 
 
 
 
 
Or take your cue from Angelina Jolie, the queen of trendsetters. She was the first to "go green" in style. She wore this stunning green Grecian gown in olive hue at Cannes. Then she dropped jaws with her emeralds at the Oscars.
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Fight the flu

Fight flu, wash hands with mosturizing, not antibacterial soapThe flu is scary this year. We have seasonal flu to think about as well as H1N1, which is particularly dangerous for pregnant women, children, and those with compromised immune systems or asthma. If you have insurance or live where there is medical care – lucky you. This may be the year to talk to your doctor about your choices for a flu shot. Do not just ignore the flu and assume that you are healthy and can just fight it off!

 
Another danger of ignoring the flu is that you get sick and infects others who are more fragile and have serious complications. Or you spread the flu through your work place or to those who can not afford to get ill. It happens every year. Trust me if you do this, your co-worker will curse you. Also heartily disliked are those who send sick children to school or day care. If you do not care about yourself think of others. The flu shot is safe, effective, and necessary for your health and that of the community.
 
You are contagious before you are sick. If you have school age children you are more likely to fall sick and make others sick, if you and your family are not vaccinated. See your doctor now; this is the time to get a flu shot. I know it is hard to miss work if your employer doesn’t give you sick days. But with a serious flu, you will miss more work by ignoring it. This alone is a good reason to get a flu shot!
 
Wash your hands frequently with warm water and soap for at least 30 seconds, and teach your children to do the same. Pack alcohol wipes — not the antibacterial kind — and use them.
 
Clean your phone, desks, and keyboards twice daily. They are all dirtier than your toilet. Wipe door knobs at home frequently. Avoid touching elevator buttons, handrails, and other public germ-grabbers. Use tissues or wear gloves. I like disposable tissues, or use wipes.
 
Build your immunity with probiotics in enhanced yogurt and kefirs. Also benefit from onion, garlic, fresh fruit, and vegetables. Studies show that probiotics can help ward off H1N1 and the seasonal flu. But remember all probiotics are not equal, shop wisely, be informed and eat a balanced diet.
We will have more on this next week.
 
Do not touch your face as flu and cold germs enter the body from the nose, mouth and eyes.
 
Get enough sleep and exercise!
 
Darlings, there are no guarantees, but these steps are good common sense and can help to keep you healthy.
 
 
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Hair that really swings

Redken's trio of custom straigthening products do not fry your hair!Thanks to the latest innovations in straightening products, having long straight shiny hair no longer means you have to fry it. Straight hair was a staple on the fall runways. Redken knows that many women covet the look of ultra-sleek classic hair, but that it can be difficult for many women to attain. That’s why they created Redken’s Straight Collection.
 
These three fabulous customized products are for three different hair types — fine, medium and coarse – and they make great looking hair a snap. New Sheer Straight 06 is for fine hair. I tried it. It performed perfectly on my fine blond hair. My hair blew-out effortlessly straight and full of bounce, and it was shiny too. Another DolceDolcecontributor tried Align 12 for medium hair. It worked great on her medium, curly hair. Align 12 lets her style hair sleekly and straight, or leave it wavy and sexy. New Power Tame 16 for coarse hair worked equally well on our coarse and curly-haired contributor. She loved the shine and control it gave her massive mane.
 
The products can be used with a flat iron for pin straight results. All of these products provide a huge amount of fizz control and shine. www.redken.com
 
 
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Tipsy ice cream for dessert

Are you looking for something fabulous, different, and delicious for your next dinner party – as long as it is also fast and easy?

It’s a tall order, but I have a suggestion: Silver Moon Desserts.

Former Silicon Valley executive Sheri Tate quit the high-tech rat race to create liquored-up frozen treats. She has come up with some delicious flavour combos for ice cream and sorbets. The lids say you need to be 21 to buy them. They are sold in trendy west-cost food markets and online and cost a pricy $9.50 a pint. But for a special party, they may be just what you are looking for! And we loved the retro packaging too.
 
My favourite ice cream flavour was a toss-up between the Praline Irish Cream with Candied Pecan Pralines and Irish Cream and the Coffee with Brownie Bits. We all loved the Pomegranate Martini Sorbet – so refreshing. There are lots of flavours, so check online to see them all, where to buy, and how to order. 
 
They are also great holiday gift idea for an ice cream lover who has everything. $9.95 a pint and delivered gift boxes $45 to 72. www.silvermoondesserts.com
 
 
 
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